Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sitting Here About To Be Late For A Date

This could really be the title of almost all of my blog posts.

Monday, April 25, 2011

What Do Atheists Say When They're Grateful?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single person in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a deity to thank.

I mean, seriously. I am fed, clothed, watered, and, in fact, indulged. There is money for red wine, and ibuprofen, and coffee. There is money for gas and books, and more importantly, there is time for some of the best conversations I have had in my life, many of which have happened only recently, and from which I am still reeling.

For example, I just saw my friend D whom I adore more now than I ever did, and we had a wonderful conversation about our work. Which doesn't sound very impressive until you know that I routinely fix culture clashes over two billion dollar contracts (that's with a "b") and she was indeed published before she was thirty, which is kind of a big deal, even when you're at Varhard, because she discovered the mechanism behind how to turn off double-stranded RNA when you want to. And in the world of genetics, so, ALL LIFE, that is kind of a big deal.

(And then we talked about why humans do what they do, why xenophobia exists, how to cure cancer--and I am not exaggerating--and epigenetics, not to be confused with eugenics, which sucks. And THEN we talked about boys and kids, just to be normal. And we also discussed biology and the role it plays in sex and gender, and how those are totally different things.)

(And before that, I had several discussions with both old and new flames, about human nature and life, and a wonderful conversation with my roommate about why the homeless exist and why, as a society, humans haven't retained the biological imperative to kill off our weakest, and therefore: eugenics (which still sucks) and why kids change people and how subservient we are to our biological clocks and how that differs in your gender.)

So. The point is, my life is way too good, and I don't know how to properly express my gratitude. Also, my friends are cool. The end.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Right After I Re-Caulk The Grout

Only Male Blonde Squad Member: "When is your trip to Korea?"

Me: "Possibly not until early May."

OMBSM: "That isn't far off!"

Me: "Yeah, my sense of time is a little jacked up."

Me: "Since 'three weeks' is pretty much an eternity right now, at the pace this work is going."

OMBSM: "Understandable. But you have a TV to entertain yourself now, so time should fly. You know, since you have time to use it."

Me: "Yes. I'll be sure and do that right after I start my organic herb garden."

Me: "And then possibly build a chicken coop and learn how to crochet."


Friday, April 08, 2011

I Have Worked 64 Hours This Week Already And I Will Respond To Your Text When I Damn Well Please

"Thank you for calling the offices of The Justice League Of Sexy Bitches, Inc. Your call is not important to us at any time, and will not be answered in any order not determined by bribes. Flowers will receive a priority two, jewelery a priority one. Chocolate presenters will be laughed out of the office, but those who arrive in person with red wine may receive an immediate response, but may also be ignored. Now would be the time in which we would thank you for your patience if in fact we would ever do that sort of thing, which we wouldn't. If you get tired of waiting, feel free to visit our would-be rivals, The Simpering League of Overblown Bar Sluts, just down the street. Good day to you."

Friday, April 01, 2011

You Know What's Interesting?

Discovering that if you search my full name + the word blog, you find this blog. NOT good.

Also, you know what's hard?

Google stalking someone who's had top secret clearance, is a very talented coder, and has worked for the DoE.

If that dude does not want to be found, YOU WILL NOT FIND HIM, chemical engineer with barely the ability to remember the bold tag in html.