Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Good Reminder

Mom, by email, Friday afternoon: "I know you had a very exciting weekend, dear. But try to remember to take your phone charger HOME with you today."

Me: "Yes, ma'am."

And in spite of that I ALMOST FORGOT IT AGAIN--but I didn't! Thanks, mom. You rock.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

In Which I Hose My Phone and Develop a Social Life Anyway

1. While playing snake pong, take out phone to text T and discover phone is dead. Continue to play snake pong. Move on to basketball. Arriving home at 2:30 am, neglect to attempt to plug in. (The attempt part is important.)
2. Saturday morning, wake up bright and early with dead phone. Only then do I realize--due to my inability to attempt this feat the night before--that my wall charger is at work.
3. Run out to Jeep, start Jeep, and plug phone, via car charger, into Jeep.
4. Not five minutes later, C comes to pick me up for full day of errands. Take car charger with me.
5. C's car plug-in no worky-worky.
6. Phone battery runs out immediately.
7. C drops me off from full day of errands. LEAVE CAR CHARGER WITH C ACCIDENTALLY.
8. Frantically email people about movie premiere plans for Saturday night, since I have no phone.
9. Drop by Neighbor's apartment to use HIS phone. Neighbor asks what my plans are and, hearing it's a ski porn movie premiere, immediately invites hisself. Sweet! Ride! Problem: There may not be any tickets left.
10. Arrive at the Hurricane for pre-funking. Realize I have left my ticket for movie premiere at home. Neighbor offers to go BACK to our collective apartment complex to get it. I tell him four places said ticket "might" be. He rolls his eyes.
11. I go to stand in line in the freezing cold to buy Neighbor a ticket.
12. I make friends with the people around me in line, one of whom lets me use his phone to call Neighbor. I am about to call Neighbor when he re-appears on the scene!
13. Neighbor found my ticket with only a medium effort and returned to the movie premiere on time!
14. Neighbor reassures me that super-mean attack Dawg barely stirred from his 13th nap of the day as Neighbor entered my apartment, rooted around in my stuff, and left again. Huh.
15. Neighbor buys an extra ticket from one of my new friends in line.
16. We even have time to get drinks and food at the Hurricane!
17. T, who was the whole reason I was there, is already there with the divine Miss D, surrounded by boys. One of the boys I already know from salsa. Obviously.
18. I also run into Miss A out on the town with her boy. Neighbor asks if I know everyone in this town. Um, No? Fine. Yes. So?
19. I save 13 spots for the entire crew against an increasingly hostile crowd at the King Cat.
20. Fall asleep on Neighbor's shoulder.
21. On to the next party! Half the gang, including T and Miss D, decide to go to Ozzie's. I am down 100%.
22. 2:30 am. Leaving Ozzie's.
23. Sunday morning: breakfast. And then major intense cleaning. After all, my mother's coming over later!
24. FINALLY, on Sunday afternoon at 4, C, bless her heart, drops off my car charger.
25. Run out to Jeep and plug in.
26. Mother arrives with finished pillow! And I have a clean apartment to show off!
27. Sunday at 6 PM: PHONE!
28. Sunday night: T calls. We chat briefly as we are both on our way to dates. Not with the same person.
29. Sunday at midnight: crash into bed.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Boa Constrictor

It's 9:00 pm on Friday night. C and I are outside Jazz Alley, black boots and trench coats on, swapping stories with a very opinionated lady from New Jersey. Spanish Harlem Orchestra has just rocked our minds for two hours. And then the Bat Signal illuminates the sky: BEER PONG AT ALLEY 24!

Dodging our way through the alley packed with the after show crowd, waving to salsa friends, the CRV carries us gently through the back streets of South Lake Union, following the signal. C makes sure we eat before we arrive on the penthouse level of Alley 24 to find beer pong games already in progress, the gentle rain not impeding either the speed of drinking OR the boa constrictor, who gets passed around like a heavy, moving necklace as we all want to hold her. She snuggles into our coats, trying to stay warm. Three hours later, we're shooting hoops in the park across the street and having the most fun I've had in some time, in spite of the fact that I can't dribble to save my life and S--who became my date after C left--totally shows me up.

The next day, C and I spend three hours jumping on mattresses before I accompanied her furniture shopping, with barely enough time to breathe in between shopping, dog-walking, and getting ready for a helluva party surrounding a much-hyped ski movie premiere. Movie: not great. I fall asleep on my neighbor's shoulder. Party: off the hook. There is much ridiculousness. Around all these events are many additional complications that my subconscious like to add just for fun, like: my phone died on Friday night at Spanish Harlem Orchestra and wasn't revived until the weekend was completely over. I forgot my original ticket for the movie premiere at home and had to send my neighbor to go get it while I held his spot in line, with no phone for last-minute coordination.

And then on Sunday I got to eat and breathe and to see my mother.

All in all, the weekend could not have been better. Plus I can now check "Play beer pong while wearing a snake" off my list of Life Goals.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Tri-Tip: I'm in the line at Tully's and there is a woman in front of me gushing about New Moon. And according to her badge...she has a SECURITY CLEARANCE.
Tri-Tip: I cry for humanity.
Me: They should really revise the security questionnaire. "Do you think Stephanie Meyer is one of the greatest authors living today? You do? I'm sorry, the United States government no longer needs your services."
Tri-Tip: We are snobs.
Me: All the more reason why we deserve our security clearances.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


There are several blogs I read on a regular basis. What's that you say? SEVERAL. No, I'm not giving you an exact number. Jeez. If you met President Obama, would you ask him EXACTLY how many times he did cocaine? Oh, you would? Forget you then.


Some of the blogs I read are definitely more on the conservative side, because a lot of them are frugality blogs and there seems to be a large overlap between frugality and nuclear family values. I would never read one that was political, but many of the authors might have a lot of kids and be generally really Pro-Family, and I was going along reading my Google Reader today and I came across this post:

AMAZING Freebie: Pregnancy Tests

from Frugal Homemaker Plus

Now, I've never taken one, and that's not just a statement made up to calm my parents. It's true: I've never taken one. Never needed to. (Thank you, comprehensive sex ed.) But a few of my friends, mainly due to high stress lives and high-control personalities, have had moments of anxiety, and bought and taken them at once time or another, and they've all been negative and everyone's moved on with their lives.

THE POINT IS that this is my context for pregnancy tests, and therefore I looked at this post and thought about the general audience for this Christian frugality blog and I was like, "What the heck would a bunch of goody-two-shoes Christian girls, married, need pregnancy tests for?"

Friday, October 09, 2009

Attention: Jetta

Hello, Green Jetta initiative. I appreciate what you're trying to do. I like the idea of the Portland to Portland test drive. If I ever buy another car, I may get a new "greener" Jetta TDI.

But when I see this car

hold up both lanes of traffic on 10th Avenue during rush hour as the driver makes two disastrous attempts to parallel park in a spot big enough for two Volkswagen buses, I am not impressed. It does not want to make me buy a Jetta. Or even go near a Jetta. Please train your drivers in the art of spacial recognition. THANK YOU.