Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Me: "Whew. One item off my To-Do List."

Roommate: "Which item was this?"

Me: "I finally installed the magnetic lenses for my phone. They click on magnetically, and they give you wide-angle and macro abilities. I only bought them a YEAR ago."

Roommate: "And WHY haven't you installed them, yet?"

Me: "Putting the self-stick magnetic ring on my phone seemed like too much work."

Roommate: "Says the girl who just took her ENTIRE JEEP apart."

Me: "...whatever."


I would just like to announce to the world that I replaced my gas tank. By myself. Related: I am kind of big deal.


I am standing on the sidewalk, which is "safe", or at least likely to contain hidden dog poop, while Titan waters a place as FAR AWAY AS HE CAN GET from me and still be attached. Actually, I am not standing on the sidewalk; I have only one foot on it. The other leg is raised in the air to balance me as I lean at a 90 degree angle over the leaves and dirt, leash hooked on my longest finger, because seriously, Titan is AS FAR AWAY AS HE CAN POSSIBLY BE. I am doing Warrior III Pose, is what I'm saying here. My dog WOULD require me to do yoga while walking him.

I complain about this to my mother, who happens to be standing right next to me. "Why do we always have to go to the very very end of the leash to pee? WHY?"

"I remember a young lady who also had to push to the very edge of her boundaries," she said, rather wryly, watching me balance on the sidewalk.

Me: "...Oh, really? Hmmm."

Her: "YES."

Me: "Hey, and we both do it for the same reason: to make our mark on the world!"

Her: "In a slightly different way, though."

Friday, December 09, 2011

I Am Tired

So tired, in fact, that I hit "Publish" before I'd even written anything. Awesome. I am tired. I am so tired. Everyone's tired on a Friday; I get that. I totally have that going on. That's not what I'm talking about. I am (in addition to the standard Friday tired) the kind of tired that happens after you've been filled with adrenaline and stress for weeks and suddenly, at the end of a Friday, it all drains out of you in a whoosh and you are a lump, in a chair, sort of melting into it, because you don't have any energy to sit up straight. I just put music on and had to turn it off, because I don't have enough energy to write and listen to music at the same time. I am TIRED. I am too tired to fall asleep. Thanks for being here.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

I Think Lady Gaga May Be The Third Prophet

I was trying to think of a pithy statement that could possibly describe this hell of a day, and then I realized...the least exciting thing that happened today is the leak in my gas tank. And that's really all I can say. ("And babe, there's nothing else I can say. Eh eh, eh eh.")

Friday, December 02, 2011