Me, to the bartender: "Whiskey and Ginger, please."
Bartender takes one look at me and snorts. "Yeah, I bet you ARE a Whiskey Ginger."
Me: "Is that like a whiskey-FUELED Ginger?"
Bartender: "Or a Frisky Whiskey Ginger?"
Kit, introducing me to a friend of hers: "And sometimes, Aarwenn lets you come over and bounce on her tramp!"
I meant to say "Give you a ride" and switched halfway through the sentence to say, "Drive you home", and this is what came out:
Me, to Entrepreneur: "Okay, so you need me to ride you home?"
Him: "Um...is this a trick question?"
Me, to Sales Guy: "You had him take the day off work so he could help you lay tile in your basement? That IS a good friend."
Sales Guy, defensively: "Yeah, well I bailed him out in LA when he got busted for
"Bobby": Yeah, not drinking yesterday was a big feat for me.
Me: "Yeah, I don't think I've accomplished that since I had the swine flu."