Thursday, November 12, 2015

Regrets, Lightly Breaded. Plus Statistics, Math, and Trends.

Note: This post is NOT actually about food. My regrets are lightly breaded in memories.

Twice in my life, a handsome young man has approached me and asked me to take a chance with him.

Both times I have turned the young man down.

And both times, I have regretted it.

But let's go deeper:

The first time was back in high school. A classmate, who I didn't know particularly well but was quite popular, had forgotten that we had to present a chemistry project to the class. He shows up to class, realizes this, and turns around in his seat to look at me. "Want to present with me?" he says. "I need a partner," he says. "Don't worry, I have a plan."

Apprehensive, nervous, and extremely self-conscious, worried about making a fool of myself in front of an entire class--which included my crush at the time--I turned him down. Not the least bit fazed, this guy leaned across the aisle and asked the dude next to him, who agreed, and they went on to present an entertaining and stimulating mind trick. It was excellent. I was sad.

(Interesting ending: Fortunately, this classmate of mine and I are, surprisingly enough, still friends! We live in the same town, and our professional paths cross occasionally. He is still an extremely charming and poised rogue who can talk anyone into anything, and coming from me, that's pretty much a professional opinion.)

A second time, years later, I was out at karaoke. A dudebro type that I didn't know from Adam walked up to me and asked me to sing a duet with him. Less self-conscious by then, but still apprehensive, nervous, and worried about making a fool of myself in front of a group, I again turned this offer down. He found another girl who, it turned out, couldn't really sing, but HE certainly could, and he carried both of them. Again, I was sad. I knew the song well and I would have totally rocked it, but I had no one to blame but myself.

Weird trend, certainly, especially given that I'm normally so outgoing, but then my life is full of weird trends. For example, my parents and I all have birthdays on the same day of the week. If my mother's is on, say, a Tuesday, then we already know my dad's birthday and my birthday will ALSO be on a Tuesday. We're all exact weeks apart. This isn't earth-shaking, but it comes in extremely handy, and if you do the math (I haven't, but maybe I will at some point) the odds of this happening are actually extremely low!  (Okay, I did the math, the odds of this happening are 1 in 343, if I remember my statistics correctly, or about 3 in 1000. About 0.3%. Less than 1%, in my mind, is relatively uncommon. I love it when math proves me right.) (Possibly related: my dad's birthday is tomorrow! Happy early birthday, dad!)

And finally, I knew E and I were right for each other the moment I met him, but it really threw me for a loop when he told me his ski lock combination. "I'm sorry, what is it, again?" I asked.

He told me again. "It's the last four digits of my phone number growing up," he explained. "Why?"

"Because that's the same sequence as the last four digits of my debit card AND my library card," I finally said.

True Story.

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