The Benefit of Being Single Again is Meeting New People and Having Conversations Like This

Him: "I'm a little tired after all my caulking work today."

Me: "Must...not...make...easy...jokes..."

Him: "My new caulking gun has a 10:1 thrust ratio. I'm feeling confident I can knock this job out quickly."

Me: "I'm ON THE BUS and there are LITTLE CHILDREN AROUND. You MONSTER."

Him: "Kids need to learn about crucial home maintenance sometime."

Me: "Or else, who's going to tell them? Their friends? I think not. So it's left up to the creepy old guy behind the counter at the corner hardware store."

Him: "'Trim the tip of your caulk at a 45 degree angle,' says this guide I'm reading."

Me: "SEE? You don't want to play around with instructions like that."