Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Holiday Traditions: Gingerbread Houses

"One thing I should tell you," he says. "These people whose house we're going to...they're Republican. I mean, like, REALLY Republican."

"Okay, so, when I make my gingerbread house, should I just leave off all the snow and say loudly, 'What does it matter? Snow's not even going to exist in five years anyway!"

"Absolutely. Maybe make it very clear that you're NOT adding guns to this gingerbread house. 'What do people need guns for anyway? We have too many guns in this country!'"

"Add a compost bin? Just go straight for the jugular and put solar panels on the roof? And I'll write the woman symbol above my front door in frosting. Two of them linked together, as befits a house that has subverted traditional gender roles."

"To balance you out, I'm personally going to put a gingerbread woman in mine and chain her to the kitchen. On a leash."

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