Put the Bone on Break

Welcome to Needlessly Graphic Monday, y'all!

In absence of actually dating, I'm reading a lot ABOUT dating, and in my various clicks around the internet I ran across this post by Ne-Yo, of all people. NE-YO.

For those of you over 25: he's a popular R&B singer. I'm not a super big fan, but I like a few of his songs, in particular this one:



Anyway. It turns out that not only can the boy sing (sort of) and dance (quite well) and look pretty (hubba, hubba) but he also has a few things to say on the subject of ladies.

In particular this gem, slightly censored:

"Appreciate if she’s doing you a favorite...Don’t be lazy. And when you're giving a massage, put the bone on break."

LOVE IT. Who knew that songwriters would have such excellent turns of phrase? It's like they're paid for it, or something.

Oh? They are?

I discovered this phrase last week and since then have been trying to work it into conversation every chance I get, slightly difficult as this does not actually apply to me, AND it's mind-stoppingly graphic, but I haven't let that slow me down. My boys and I used it three times while skiing last weekend, and just today I got the opportunity to shoot down a friend of mine who was complaining about women.

"Women are so NEEDY," he was complaining, never mind that he currently has two in the hand and one in the bush.

"You wouldn't be having so many woman problems if you could just lay off them for a bit," I pointed out. "Sometimes you just have to put the bone on break."