Overheard at Olivar's

A heavier young man in black frame glasses sits with a gray haired lady. It becomes clear that he is, in fact, her son, and they are both from the East Coast and she is here to visit him, as he has apparently just moved here.

(In regards to some work she is doing.) "Well, you can use my computer any time this weekend, Mother...although I don't know how you'll access your files." Black Frame Glasses says loudly.

"I carry them around with me on this flash drive on my key chain," she murmurs.

He gasps. "You DO? That's not safe! Anyone could just pick that up and download all your important information!"

"It's encrypted," she says.

"Oh? OH! Encrypted, eh? Oh, that's good. That's a good thing that you did that. As long as there's no way anyone can break it."

The waiter arrives.

"Now, Mother, you have to let me order for you. Yes, you do, you're a lady!"

He turns to the waiter. "The LADY will have..."

I silently judge behind my coffee. You will not do well in this town of tech-savvy feminists, Black Frame Glasses. Your mother may be used to putting up with your peculiar mix of idiocy and self-importance, but we are not, and furthermore, have no desire to become so. You will do better in the mid-size East Coast town you are undoubtedly from. Please return there.

Also, you shout.