I Flounder.

Breakfast: Granola bar, office coffee. Elevenses: Beet juice with chia seeds, and chicken terrine, cold cuts, and broiled mountain cheese from Cafe Presse. Late lunch: Bimimbap and seaweed soup with beef broth. Clover-brewed Sumatra. I'd make some funny comment, but I guess I'm just all over the map today.

My coworker, on hearing that I had been to Olympus Spa and gotten the scrub and moisturizing package: "Oh, that's my favorite, too! But I always feel like a big fish. A big white flabby fish, you know, because those women all have such lovely golden skin and here I am in all my flabby whiteness on a SLAB while they rub me down and fillet me."

Then much later, smelling my seaweed soup: "Mmmm. That reminds me, I should get back there soon. It's time for another flounder treatment."

Me, laughing: "Is THAT what we're calling it now?"

Her: "You prefer Halibut Treatment?"