Seattle on -$45 a Day
Tuesday afternoon dawns sunny and fine, and I have visions dancing in my head of a long walk with Titan and maybe a glass of wine on the patio. Get home early from work, salivating over this vision. But there are a few things on my mind, like:
1. I know I have about $100 to my name, which will cover gas, dog food, and a ferry ride. And it has to last nine days. Scary, but doable if I really tie myself down.
2. I realize I have forgotten to cancel the power at the old place, so I pick up my phone to call Tacoma Power.
3. That's when I realize that I forgot to pay the phone bill. For two months.
4. My service has been disconnected. And it will STAY THAT WAY UNTIL I CAN PAY IT, WHICH IS NEVER.
5. Immediately have a nervous breakdown, because worse than the thought of no phone is the thought that everyone who calls me will get that "Service has been temporarily disconnected" message and they will KNOW that I didn't pay my bill and that I'm a loser. This list of people included my friends, my BOY, and my MOTHER, y'all. This could not be worse. (Until I broadcast my troubles on teh Internet.)
6. I immediately call Verizon and commence getting shady with credit cards. I read them every card number I have. All of them are declined. The lady on the other end is not sympathetic. You can tell she thinks I'm a loser. This is getting worse and worse, and now I can't call Tacoma Power.
7. I hang up and cry.
8. It occurs to me: hey, checks take a few days to post and will buy me some time!
9. I pay by electronic check!
10. I HAVE SERVICE AGAIN!
11. I have no idea what will happen when the check is posted, as I'm already $73 dollars in the hole. Will the bank cover it and charge me? Bounce it all together? Who knows? So I'm reprieved, but definitely not home and dry. Oh well. I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it.
12. Now I have $40 to my name. For gas, dog food, ferry rides, and nine days. I will not make it. I pray for money to fall from the sky.
13. I take Titan on a long, long walk.
14. Wednesday: still praying for money to fall from the sky, I open my mail from Monday, which got ignored because the LT was there, and...
15. THERE'S A SMALL REFUND CHECK FROM MY INSURANCE COMPANY! Why? Who the fuck knows? I'll take that! It's twice as much as I'm currently worth!
16. Only seven more days to go.
2 comments:
Who provides. Um, maker provides? Oops, inadvertant EP reference. Damn.
Maya provides? Gaia provides?
KIWI provides!
Remember I said we should start a church. We can start a church worshipping the great all powerful flightless kiwi. Why's he all powerful when he can't fly? It's an eternal mystery, so there!
Seriously though, it's a wonderful feeling when things work out, or when it seems like you're being cared for. So I'm very happy for you. Guess your search for meaning is working out pretty well if your needs are being met already, right?
That's the hope. Or maybe it's like drug dealing...they reward you at first and then EXACT THEIR PAYMENT IN SOULS.
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