He's good to go! Parasite search results were negative, and as of this morning, he's finally pooping normally. That dog has a stomach of steel. (This is the dog who happily eats chocolate with no problems.)
The parasite test for $50 was TOTALLY worth it, though. I felt much better about the whole situation once I knew that a) he was clean, and b) I had thrown some money at the problem. Such is the weirdtastic nature of the human mind.
WARNING: Post of a graphic nature follows.
Saturday: Titan gets into the trash. He eats about fifteen teabags and two ounces of brie, still in the wrapper.
Sunday: LT, Robb, Titan, and myself go to the dog park. He spends a great deal of time in the water.
Monday: Uneventful.
Tuesday: I awake to A LOT of vomit on my throw rug, both solid and liquid. I take him for his walk, and turns out he has the runs. I assume he has a stomach bug, which he's had before, and withhold breakfast.
Tuesday Lunch: No vomit! Yay!
Tuesday Afternoon: Vomit. Dammit. And he still has the runs.
I clean everything up and put my throw rug in the washer. I call the vet's office. "Well, sounds like he could have an obstruction, which could potentially be life-threatening," says the cheerful woman on the phone. "You can either bring him in here for a drop-in, or you can take to the emergency vet hospital."
I dither.
I call the emergency hospital. "Sounds like he should be looked at. Bring him in. That will $95 for the exam, $50 for the blood work, and $150 for the x-rays."
I dither some more.
The thing is, Titan has had stomach bugs before--not this bad, but they have happened. I normally withhold food for 24 hours and then start feeding him small meals of chicken and rice, easy to digest food, and pretty soon he's back to normal. Titan does not like the vet and I hate to take him someplace and pay them $300 for them to tell me that he has a stomach bug, most likely the case. We wait it out at home on Tuesday evening, me stressing out and calling the LT, who forces me to lay out my options. I decide I am definitely not going to the vet's when Titan almost pulls the leash out of my hand chasing after a cat. Clearly he's fine.
Wednesday: Eats breakfast of rice. No vomiting! Still has the runs. Dammit.
Call the vet's office again. They recommend me coming in to drop off a stool sample, but say he's probably fine for another day. He's drinking water and not vomiting, so whatever it is, it's not a stomach bug but he's not over it. Humph.
This Morning: Drop off sample at the vet's, still dithering. Vet technician calms me down: "If it was an obstruction, it would have already gotten way more complicated by now, even though this is the dog that ate all those teabags and wrapped cheese." Titan is famous! For his stupidity, sadly. Vet goes on: "Has he been at a dog park or in the water recently?" Yes and yes. "It's probably [some parasite that I can't pronounce], it's prevalent around other dogs and especially prevalent around water. A test should prove it."
Well, okay! Awesome!
This afternoon, Titan is still fine, relatively, and enjoying his diet of rice. (People food! Hooray!) Could I have rushed off to the emergency hospital? Yes. Can I afford it? Technically yes. Did I think it was worth it? No. He wasn't throwing up water, a sign of extreme dehydration, and he wasn't lethargic, a sign of a real obstruction. Was I needlessly stressed out? Yes. Was $300 too steep a price to pay for peace of mind. Again, yes.
Before you get all animal-rights on me, keep in mind that I put off going to my OWN doctor to have my arm looked at for at least a month, and a year and a half ago when I had terrible bronchitis, I ALSO put off going to the doctor for at least three weeks, getting so bad that the doctors thought I might have whooping cough and two friendships ended.
A lot of other posts on this topic:
Frugal Homemaker Plus talks about her $1000 rabbit.
Ada Calhoun at Salon talks about her $1300 cat.
Emily Yoffe's How to Say No to Your Vet piece that started it all.
LT's friend Robb (yes, with two B's) came into town this weekend to enjoy some Pacific Northwest skiing, and then almost punched both LT and myself as we blithely complained about the snow quality in front of a man who lives in a paved-over swamp. (D.C., not New Orleans.) Seeing his irritation at us taking the snow and mountain ranges that we enjoy for granted, I re-thought my feelings on the East Coast. I've always missed it and wanted to move back, at some point, but the reality of "NO MOUNTAINS" hadn't really occurred to me. Ouch. How could I live in a city with no skiing?
In other news, I have eaten nothing but crap for about a week. In Norfolk, having eaten mainly vegetables for three days, trying to get rid of all my fresh stuff, I looked in the mirror and thought, "Hey...pretty foxy." This morning I looked in the mirror and thought, "What the HELL happened to my skin??"
This just in: eating crap? Not good for you! Who knew??
7:00 am: Receive yearly bonus.
7:15 am: Pay off ENTIRE AMERICAN EXPRESS BILL! I am credit-card debt free! Hooray!
12:30 pm: Buy ticket to Japan.
12:31 pm: No longer credit-card-debt free.
If anyone needs information about buying tickets to Japan, definitely call me, because I have done about 86 million hours of research and obsessing, and I have learned about everything there is to know.
1. The cheap tickets (for 864 or whatever) on Kayak.com are a sham. When you go to the site to book the ticket, there's an error message saying they're no longer available. I don't think it's meant to be a sham, but what I've discovered about trying to book tickets to Asia is that some prices are listed with tax and fuel surcharges and some aren't. I think it's a mistake of the code or something.
2. DEFINITELY spend a month or so, if you can, watching ticket prices on various search engines. It'll give you a good idea of what a low price is for the time of year you're traveling. For example, flights to Japan fluctuate DRAMATICALLY between winter and spring; I found tickets for as cheap as 479...if I wanted to go in February.
3. Check out FareCompare.com AND Kayak for international flights. Especially Fare Compare will give you excellent history of pricing so you can see a whole year's pricing at once. FareCompare is how I learned that Japan is so cheap in winter months.
4. Query the hive mind: check Metafilter. I really need to buy a membership to this site, it's awesome.
5. I eventually found my ticket on GatewayLAX, although I also looked at IACE. I paid $925 for a round-trip from Seattle, non-stop, and I think that's a pretty good price for non-stop Japan in May!
So, yes! Had a zero American Express balance today for about five hours! Have bought a Japan ticket! Woo!
Not quite the same as Walking in Memphis, I guess.
I got one of those emails on Monday of last week that read, "How soon can you be in Norfolk?"
I said, out loud at my desk, "WHAT?"
So near the end of last week I packed up all my stuff, flew to Norfolk, gave someone else's presentation--more difficult than it sounds, my boss has a totally different style than I do--and worried a lot about the time change. I don't sleep well in hotel beds and my insomnia flares up dramatically when I switch time zones, and to make matters worse, I was flying a red-eye out there. And so I made sure to bring my shoes and my sports bra and my iPod and some running gear. I touched down about 10 am, completely disoriented and with no clue what day it was, and I had to be at a presentation dry-run at 2 pm. I tried to answer some email and gave up after I couldn't figure out where to place my fingers on the keys. I thought about taking a nap, but wasn't sure I'd wake up and didn't want to ruin the possibility of me sleeping later, so I strapped on my running shoes and took off.
It worked. I saw another runner, way faster than I was, and he nodded at me just like I was a real runner instead of a fake one that had only been running for a month. It was a gorgeous day in Norfolk, sunny and bright, although cold. I'm just now at the stage where I'm running for all twenty minutes. I'll do this for a week and then try to add time. My goal is three miles, five times a week.
In the mornings.
Yes, you read that right. I keep thinking that I should be exercising in the morning--that way I won't have to do it at night. The only problem is, I SUCK at mornings and I think it will take longer, because I'll have to spend more warmup time. At night I won't need as much warm up time, and as an added bonus, it won't be morning. Which sucks on general principles. (Side note: the last time I had a gym habit, I went at night and it didn't seem to bother me. I'm not sure why this seems so different--maybe because I have more going on at night now, between tutoring and happy hour plans. (Hey, gotta make time for the happy hour!)
Anyway, for right now I'll keep running in the evenings and see how it goes. And last night I couldn't find my earbuds--I think I left them with T-Town--and I went running ANYWAY. WITHOUT MY IPOD. I can't believe it.
So, I am very late. But this gives time for resolutions to sink in, right? To be considered? Surely it's better this way? It's not?
Oh well. I seem to have a lot fewer resolutions this year than last year,
when I had a whopping 27. A lot of them were about saving money and eating less, and I did, um, NEITHER of those things. In fact, I'm sort of beginning to think that 2007 was a complete failure on many fronts. I blame it on the weather.
But it does not matter! 2008 is a whole new year!
2008 Resolutions:
1. Wean myself off of iTunes and their ridiculous copyright protected mp4 teasing. Resolve to use Amazon for all mp3 buying instead. Also refrain from using iTunes to burn CDs; investigate Nero instead. LT has complained about getting burned CDs with no way to play them on his computer or, indeed, see what song is playing.
2. Brush teeth and wash face every day! (Getting better at this.) (Um, sort of.)
3. Eat vegetable dish every day, either raw or cooked. Eat fruit at breakfast meal, again either raw or cooked. Include vegetable and fruit side dish with lunch every day, either raw or cooked. Now that I CAN eat meat and cheese that's all I'm eating. But it's important to note that a lot of vegans don't eat anything besides peanut butter and pasta. Forcing yourself to not eat meat or cheese does not mean that you will naturally eat vegetables instead. Trust me on this one.
4. Buy digital scale. (Done!)
5. Rearrange kitchen. The arrival of my new dishwasher changed the landscape a lot, and now I apparently have EVERY appliance I own sitting out on my rather limited counter space. This must change.
6. Limit self to five crackers with spread/cheese before meals. And when I wasn't eating cheese this was tahini. I have a tendency, laid in by long years of watching my parents and grandparents indulge in a few slices of cheese on crackers before dinner, and maybe a handful of nuts, to munch on something yummy before dinner. As I am from a completely different generation and have zero self-control, this becomes ten crackers with thick slices of cheese, several forkfuls of tahini, and maybe a few scoops of nutella. You know what I should be eating before dinner? Salad. A serving of spinach has 35 calories in it. Ten slices of cheese, several forkfuls of tahini and a few scoops of nutella has about 870 calories. No. Joke.
7. Only eat four meals a day. So that I can't eat crackers and cheese and call it a meal.
8. Stick to The Budget. Because travel to Japan, Pittsburgh, L.A., and NYC is not cheap!
9. Finish novel. Self-explanatory.
10. Pay Off Car. This is a big one, but possible, assuming I spend barely anything on shoes/books/makeup/non-essentials for 2008, I could theoretically do this. And of course, assuming that I stay on a very cheap grocery budget and barely drive anywhere.
11. Sweep and mop apartment weekly.
12. Keep running three times a week. Eventually bump up to 30 minutes or three miles, whichever comes first.
13. Do more yoga.
14. Investigate weight lifting. (Side goal: increase upper body strength to more than that of a common house fly.)
15. Truly try to use up everything in your house this year before you buy new. Especially true with grocery shopping, obviously.
And...Things I DID Do in 2007:
1. Resolved to drink more water...and did so!
2. Resolved to detox more...and did so! (At the end of the year.)
3. Resolved to try mineral makeup...and did so! I use Everyday Minerals, for those who care, and really like it.
4. Resolved to listen to the stations 98.1, 103.7, and KEXP more...and did so!
5. Resolved to use the library...and did so!
6. Resolved to see more NEW movies and read more NEW books instead of reading and watching the things I already know...and halfway achieved this.
7. Resolved to take my grandmother to see the Leonardo da Vinci exhibit...and did so!
8. Resolved to buy USED books and media, not new, and not be sucked in by Amazon's free shipping...and did so!
9. Resolved to attach monetary value to everything I own...and...sort of did so.
Things I DIDN'T Do:
Um, a lot. I bought fancy coffee during the week, I completely went haywire with my grocery shopping, I sent a few more thank you notes but not a lot, I packed my lunch and breakfast some days but not much, I did not listen to more live music and I never made it to Central Cinema. I did not clean out my magazine stash and craft supply box. I hardly ever shopped on Member Days at Madison Market and completely failed at creating a stranglehold on my finances. I didn't take a business class OR learn a language.
But that's fine! More to do this year!
It's important to understand the difference between these two things. For example, I'm ANGRY that today, in the cafeteria, two old men were staring at me, mouths open, as I ladled some oatmeal into my bowl. And then they tried to talk to me. I'm not a morning person and I really have a prejudice against men with gray hair who haven't shaved in several days staring at me and thinking that they have the right to talk to me. I'm angry that men, as a species, look in a mirror on such a day and think, "Not bad. I can get a chick under 30." And a thirty-year-old woman looks in the mirror after working out for months and watching what she eats and being ashamed of herself, and thinking she only deserves a fifty year old man with a beer gut who hasn't shaved for several days. I don't know why this makes me angry, this huge self-esteem gap, and what's more, I know it's not the fault of the male half of the species. And I ALSO know that cutting a man down when he tries to talk to me, blowing him off just because I can, won't increase my own self esteem or the collective self esteem of the female half of the species, so I might as well smile and be nice. (I was, in case you were wondering.)
On the other hand, I'm ANNOYED that these "rebate" checks that everyone is making such a big deal of are actually just advances on next year's tax refunds. The only difference is, if you invested said $600 at some reasonable interest, you'll make money, whereas if the government held onto it all year you'd be lending them money without interest. But how many Americans are going to invest said $600?
In other news, I rearranged my kitchen and am NOT going to the Barack Obama rally today, although I thought about it. Tomorrow I'm going skiing (duh) and Sunday I'll be sleeping and tutoring. And if anyone has a little time today, definitely check out this site: www.barelypolitical.com
Two of my favorite videos below:
C's mother's service happened, and my flute playing apparently went off well. I got to see a lot of people that I hadn't seen in awhile, good even though it was such a sad occasion, and of course I hugged C a lot and got to meet Josie. The LT and I arrived super early so I could rehearse with the other two musicians, and we had about half an hour to kill in between rehearsal and the service so I took him on a trip down memory lane, to the Thriftway. For those who don't know, my high school and the church I grew up in are within about two blocks from each other, and I was just lucky enough that they're both gorgeous buildings and Tacoma landmarks. Later on, I also lived in an apartment building in that same neighborhood for about a year and a half, and therefore, I spent A LOT of time at that Thriftway and the related espresso stand, as a teenager and as an adult, getting coffee before church and getting coffee between classes (completely illegal), buying snacks before swim practice and shopping for actual groceries later on. The LT and I got coffee (fancy coffee for me) and jo-jos, and I took the jo-jos with me back into the church, and immediately C and her sister CJ said, "Ooooooh! Jo-jos!" and helped themselves, which was perfect. They were a very big part of all three of our childhoods. (Don't know what jo-jos are? They're potato wedges.)
After this, the LT and I managed to get a few chores done before heading out to dinner, with the plan to have a few drinks afterwards, and then practically falling asleep in our dishes and skipping the drinks part. Just as well, as getting up at 6:30 the next morning to go skiing was difficult enough.
Fortunately, skiing (at Crystal) turned out to be AWESOME, a really fantastic day; powder two feet deep, great steeps, great tree-skiing conditions. My legs today: so sore to straighten out that I think my legs fused into a permanently bent position. Today is a running day and I'm having a hard time convincing myself it will be in my best interest. Yoga sounds more likely. Okay, drinking hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps seems ACTUALLY more likely.
That's WAY earlier than I usually am.
Those in the know will notice that I have not yet, this year, had "We Regret These Errors" or "Stuff I Did" or "Next Year's Resolutions" posts yet, and I'm sure you were losing sleep over it.
That will happen no longer. I don't really have a "We Regret These Errors" post in my head, and I'm not sure if that's because I did fewer things I regret or, alternatively, if I tried fewer things and then failed less. I tend to the latter assumption because I'm firmly of the belief that if you're not making mistakes, you're not trying hard enough, so even though I have fewer regrets, I'm a little sad about that. I swear I did some exciting things, though, and just in case you don't believe me, I am going to tell you all about them. Get a cup of coffee.
2007: A Recap
January
Still reeling from a horrible fight between friends, I cooked a lot and rediscovered my passion for classical music, which I filled my Landlord's house with as I utilized his huge, gourmet kitchen. I took time out to visit the LT's family in Texas for a well-deserved break in the sunshine, and went on just a few skiing trips, including one to Whistler.
February
In February, I MOVED into this gorgeous apartment. While there, I wrote this long post about feminism and sex, and the LT went to Texas again to attend the service for his aunt. I took the time to build a pegboard wall.
March
In March, I kicked off women's history month by co-writing a post with the LT about sororities and body image. My Little came to see me, I went to California, I went to Whistler, and I went to California again. Also I moved office buildings and joined a gym.
April
In April, the LT and myself met our friend Mike in Tahoe, and then I totaled up how much I'd spent on skiing, discovering it to be very expensive in terms of shoes but pretty cheap in terms of therapy. I had a long, snarky, judgmental, and thoroughly enjoyable discussion with my brilliant friend D about declining education standards. I wrote a long post about past decisions and got a THIRD speeding ticket in a year. Adding to my finance issues, I also donated to my alma mater. The LT and I attended his last Submarine Ball.
May
In May, I went to the dentist, not big news but still important, and learned how to clean before I hosted Mother's Day at my apartment, and I was helped along in this process by my discovery of Flylady.net (which I still don't use, but occasionally try). I skied on Cinco de Mayo and read Suze Orman and opened an IRA. I attempted to bike to work. Finally, the LT, myself, Titan, and our friend Dave went camping, and almost rolled Helter off a cliff. (Part 1.) (Part 2.)
June
In June, the LT and I celebrated our one-year anniversary with a dinner out and then a tasty breakfast of banana walnut pancakes, which I still drool over. Or maybe I'm just drooling over those GORGEOUS ROSES. I locked myself out of my apartment in bare feet, and had some further adventures in housekeeping. This happened right before my gorgeous cousin and her awesome fiance came to visit me, whom I then left in the care of the LT as I left for T-Town's Bachelorette Party Weekend, possibly the most relaxing and detoxing weekend ever. All of us, even the drivers, showed up extremely hungover, and after three hours of mineral bath and massage we felt young enough to pass for pre-teens.
July
Well, for one thing, T-Town GOT MARRIED in July! I explored summer culture, my good friend BLarr came to see me and Geeber, I stayed up until 3:30 am finished the final Harry Potter, and the LT and I went to a second wedding.
August
In August, my microwave blew up and I bought a motorcycle helmet, and the LT and I ran away to Seaside. After that, LT's friend Leslie came to visit us, making her the fourth set of houseguests I'd had so far. More exciting things happened as I went out with Julie, Dave's wife, and sat backstage for a Wilco concert when my Little came to town again. I entertained some vegans from the Vegan Freak forum (wow!) when they came to town.
September
In September, I went to MIAMI and on a CRUISE with some of my best friends ever! (More Miami pictures here and here!) LT went to Texas for his ten-year reunion and then built me a new computer as I flew back from Miami and had to fly out to San Jose the same day. I remember telling the MasterPark shuttle guy that I was back at the airport for the second time in four hours, and he said, "Holy Crap, you must be exhausted!" I got a landline and got in another fatal and friendship-ending fight, seems to be a theme this year but I've accepted both occurrences as necessary. LT had his motorcycle stolen while we were volunteering at Beerfest, and I threw an excellent Back to School Party. I bought a Polaroid camera for this event, and I swear I'll have pictures soon.
October
(Hang in there!) In October, I stopped being vegan, and the LT got his motorcycle back, thank Blog. I bought some Mary Kay and answered a lot of questions about my ING account. I met Crazy Aunt Purl on the LT's Birthday, I got banned from the Vegan Freaks website and was then flamed to eternity, and escaped from it all to go to Sacramento for my cousin's wedding. I also contributed my helping of snark to the world.
November
In November, I went to Boston, Baltimore, and Minnesota, none of them warm places but only really freezing in Minnesota. I posted my novel excerpt and voted, I celebrated Veteran's Day, and I said to my big sister. I spent several days in Baltimore staying with the amazing Sarah and saw my friend Anna get married. Much less impressive but still important, I tried Chez Gaudy, and started a real blogging job.
December
Finally, in DECEMBER, I burned a frittata, I got crafty for the holiday spirit, I turned 27 and discovered life-hacking, and attended about five million holiday parties. Finally, I ate at Quinn's and froze my rear off at New Year's Eve, inspiring a New Year's Resolution for next year!
Happy 2008 to everyone! Even if it's been around for a month already!
I'd like to wish a very special January 31st to the LT, who--as of the end of this day, I think--is no longer in active duty in the U.S. Navy. You'll notice that the countdown in the right side bar now says Countdown COMPLETED!
It happened. I went on my run yesterday--at four minutes of running and three minutes of walking, this week--and I anticipated that it would be easy, as I was basically doing four minutes of running last week.
Well. Pride goeth before a fall, not literally in this case, but certainly my lungs felt like collapsing. Wednesday was an extremely windy day here in Seattle, and I had a hard time catching my breath. Not only that, but I ATE before I jogged--nothing serious, just a few crackers and tahini and a piece of chocolate--but I think even a little food is too much. The body tries to digest and exercise at the same time, and it's not possible. I ate because I have a fear, instilled in me by several years of experience, that I'll suddenly run out of calories, get light-headed, and pass out, something that has only happened once or twice in my life, but has almost happened at least a dozen times.
Taking the vegetable broth fast, however, seemed to practically sure me of this, an unexpected but very welcome side effect. For years I held on to the fact that my blood sugar was irregular, welcomed the sudden pressing needs to eat and the occasional light-headedness. I thought it made me look exotic, fragile, feminine, and might even require the purchase of a fainting couch one day, a great excuse to buy such an item. And when eating several small meals came into vogue a few years ago, I blended in much more with society, and eating every three hours no longer seemed odd.
Well. I'm done with looking fragile and exotic, if indeed that was how I appeared in the first place. Much more likely that I appeared whiny and high-maintenance, and I was constantly obsessed with food; I had to bring food with me everywhere, I always had snacks, and I was loathe to leave any food behind in case I wanted it later, so I was constantly carrying around bits of sandwich in huge boxes that would collapse and spill, half-full yogurts that I would have to choke down before boarding aircraft while the LT held all my bags and contemplated leaving my behind...well, behind, and so on. Drinking coffee and alcohol, too, seemed more treacherous; sometimes I'd metabolize it well, other times one cup of coffee or wine would either have me climbing walls or snoring and drooling.
I'm not sure if the vegetable broth weekend had any affect, or if it's more likely that five days to myself--not planned out, just happened--gave me some time to meditate on what was important to me and what kind of person I wanted to be, not to put too formal a spin on it. No matter the cause, I now find myself less obsessed with food. I eat it when I'm hungry, I don't eat it when I'm not. I seem to metabolize caffeine better, especially since I also weaned myself off of caffeine during that time. It's really not exciting to anyone but me, but I feel...more whole. More calm. Less fidgety and obsessive.
Now if I can just remember to not eat before running.
My friend C lost her mother on Wednesday. There's no soft way to put that and it's not an easy thing to say, or to contemplate. I've grown up with C and her sisters and knew her parents well; I ate dinner there once or twice, and they were the first people to introduce me to fondue, that happy marriage of cheese and wine, one of the most perfect foods in the world. Her father passed away a few years ago, and her mother hung on until this year. They were both classically trained musicians, and their easy sophistication--and especially C's mother's tall, lanky grace--seemed like the last word in elegance.
I've been asked to play my flute for the service, as Petra was an excellent flautist, and I'm honored. I need to get out the flute TODAY to start practicing--it's been awhile and I'm scared I'll screw up, and I want it to be perfect for Petra.
In the meantime, there is food. I had the chance to see C last Thursday, and brought a few things--wine, chocolate gelato good enough to bathe in, fresh chevre from the local market. (I feel very posh being able to buy fresh-made chevre.) She cooked dinner, despite the fact that she had every excuse to subsist solely on cheese, chocolate, and wine for the next month, and we talked about old times. It seems as if those days are long gone, but I realized, driving home, having just had dinner with a girl I've known for fifteen years, that we are making our own good times, our own old times. History is happening now, even in the midst of sadness.
Seattle has apparently opted out of the global warming (so much for "global"), as it has snowed at least five times here since December. This may not seem like a lot to those of you who, say, live in Pittsburgh (shout out!) but here in Seattle proper, we might get snow once a year. Some winters go by with no snow whatsoever. For those of you who are now wondering why I keep talking about skiing, if there's no snow, come on out to Seattle and visit me and I will show you the wonders of elevation. Rain down here in the city means snow up above 2,000 feet, and since Seattle is somewhat known for its occasional rain, you can guess just how good our snow is.
In fact, it's been snowing all this morning; Titan and I took an early walk and actually frolicked in a nearby park, off-leash. (Shhhhhh!) He chased the snowballs I threw for him, crunching them to bits when he found them, and terrorized the local crows, something I think every city bird population needs once in awhile. (By all accounts, those crows are actually smarter than Titan, although I chose not to hurt his feelings by telling him that.)
And if snow in Seattle isn't, in itself, a sign of the apocalypse, I have been...
...
...running.
Not away from my fears or toward a Starbucks free coffee line or any such good excuse. No. I have been running, like, for exercise. With my iPod and safety vest. And Titan. I have been running for exercise, and the worst part is, I kind of...
...I kind of like it.
I never thought this would happen to me. I never used to MIND running, when I was younger, and actually ran track for a few ill-advised months in middle school. But as I grew up, went through puberty, started swimming, started smoking, discovered alcohol in college, etc--running grew less and less enjoyable. It wasn't in the water, which I loved. It wasn't dancing or step aerobics, which I also loved. It was the same step, over and over. No mental challenge, no excitement. I still loved walking, but running just exhausted me. And it was boring.
I'm not really sure what happened this time around. I read an excellent article (found in my beloved Blueprint) on running, which laid out a few guidelines for first time runners--DON'T expect to complete a marathon on your first try, start out with intervals of walking and running, take it slow, don't push yourself very hard--and I was feeling a little fat and out of shape and I thought, What the heck, right?
It's been three weeks now and I'm still doing it. I go three times a week, and I took the article seriously when it said to not push yourself too hard. The first week, I ran one minute and walked for three minutes, then repeated, for twenty minutes. The second week, I ran for two minutes, and backtracked on my progress a little as I tried to run errands while running. I learned that a) running up hills is a lot harder than running on flat ground, and b) a beginning runner has no real energy for anything else, including juggling poop bags, keys, an iPod, a dog, checks to cash, and groceries, and will invariably drop all at once and curse loudly, because you (and by you I mean "me) are just too tired to think of other words besides curse words.
Last week I started running for three minutes and walking for three minutes on flat-ish ground (this IS Seattle) with nothing in my hands except keys, an iPod, and a dog (and a poop bag) and had a much easier time, even not wanting to stop after three minutes and just deciding to keep going with the jog. This week I'm on four minutes of running and three minutes of walking, and I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I'm looking forward to it. I was surprised at how soon my lungs adapted, although they're still not in great shape; the first week, running a minute went okay, but I was grateful to fall into a walk again, and then by the end of the week a minute was no problem. By the end of the second week, two minutes was no problem, and like I said, by the end of the third week, I wasn't bothering to slow to a walk if I felt like jogging longer. I'm still scared that I'm going to lace up my shoes, get out the door, and suddenly find myself panting and cramping, the reaction I USED to get when running, but so far that hasn't happened and I'm still going. I don't work fast--even on my running parts, I'm still slowly jogging, Titan never breaks his fast trot--but I get there. I'm not afraid to slow down when I need it, as long as I'm technically still jogging and not walking.
I was also surprised at how well running fit into my schedule, which seemed to be too packed to accommodate even the most convenient of gym classes; between work and tutoring, I have only two week nights free, and I dreaded dedicating those to a gym, and paying outrageous gym fees to use it twice a week. Running has none of those problems. The only expensive things devoted to running are shoes and jogging bras (essential for a well-endowed girl like me, I love the Enell, which looks like chain mail but WORKS), and while both of those things wear out eventually, they're not monthly costs by any means. And running--especially right now at the twenty minutes that I spend--is a stupidly-quick method of exercising. I warm up for five minutes, jogging in place and maybe doing some jumping jacks, then just...head out my front door. No more than thirty minutes later, I'm back. Technically you could do your entire workout in less time that it takes to run a load of laundry, just in the washer alone.
Of course, just running isn't enough. I've also recently discovered the free workout videos in On Demand, if you are unlucky enough to have Comcast. Make the most of their pricey product and terrible customer service by doing every workout video on the the On Demand screen! Punch in your TV at the end! Therapy included! Moving on. Doing all the fitness videos would actually be impossible, unless you didn't work and had someone else to clean your house--there's a ton of them. Some are very cheesy, but some are quite good. Some are permanent fixtures and some are only there for a limited time--definitely check out the limited time ones first, as those are usually the better ones.
Finally, and I had no idea this would be such a long post, putting the right music on your iPod is more important even than warming up, and I think that's pretty important. I was completely inspired by this post on Bluelines, about half of which I have either downloaded or reserved at the library already. Here's mine:
Expect an update post when my knees give out. I still can't believe I'm doing this.
Have I not mentioned that I bought a dishwasher? I didn't? Good, I get to go over the whole story again.
For many months now, especially with all this cooking I've been doing, I've been bemoaning my lack of a dishwasher. It seems like I have a never-ending array of plates, silverware, and glasses, all of which could be washed in a dishwasher (seemingly) faster and easier than I could do it myself. And because my sink is very small, if I stack a few glasses and plates in it, then when a big thing comes along like a cast iron pan, and it can't go into the sink, it sits out, dirty, on the stove. Forever. And then the dishes pile up around it and I can't use the cutting board because that's where the dishes are, and really, I start to go crazy. And that's no good. I did some research and read a lot of reviews. I learned several important things:
1. The place that I had set aside for my portable dishwasher wasn't tall enough for even the smallest "portable" dishwashers. I'd have to get a countertop version.
2. There's about three brands of countertop dishwashers available on the market, all about the same price.
3. There's none available on freecycle or craigslist, and they don't seem to become available. Countertop dishwashers are apparently a niche market.
4. There are some on Ebay!
5. Made a purchase!
I got the Edgestar Countertop Dishwasher, featured in Apartment Therapy. My Christmas money went for it. (Thanks, Grandma.)
So far, it takes longer to wash dishes--especially big ones, because only a few fit in at once--but that's because I've been letting the dishes pile up for several days and so I'm running a lot of loads. I hope that after this I'll run the washer once or maybe twice a day, wash everything, and keep my kitchen cleaned of dirty dishes and crumbs. Hey, I can hope!
The problem is, neither will THIS dishwasher fit in the space I've provided for it, mainly because it has to be a maximum of six inches below the drain source (my sink, so it can't go on the floor.) Right now my kitchen is taken up by huge appliances. I will have to rearrange.
And I will keep y'all posted on the status of the dishwasher.
The LT and I just saw Charlie Wilson's War, an excellent little movie about an overlooked period in American history and also a great source of background on the conflict in Afghanistan today; we enjoyed it. In the movie, set in about 1985, Julia Roberts' character is a wealthy Texas woman who is extremely intelligent, well-informed, politically aware, and oh yes--drop dead gorgeous. She seduces Tom Hanks' character and convinces him to cash in his many favors and meet with the president of Pakistan at the time, President Zia, and intercede personally in what was then the Soviet slaughter of Afghanis. On the way to the dog park, the LT and I were discussing the movie, and I was musing about personal fantasies.
"Have you ever wanted to be a character either in real life or out of a story?" I asked. "As in, if you could redo your life and live someone else's life, actually be them, would you pick someone?"
"Sure," he answered. "Neil Armstrong, for example."
"I've always wanted to be someone like Julia Roberts' character," I said. "A woman with intelligence, power, a talent for subterfuge; the ability to know what she wants and go after it."
"But her character used sex to get what she wanted," he said. "Isn't that completely against the ideas of feminism?"
"Absolutely not," I said strongly. "Feminism is about treating men and women equally in the eyes of the law. At no point is the phrase 'and women can't use sex to get what they want' stated in my view of feminism." (See my piece on sexy coffee stands.)
"But isn't the idea that women shouldn't HAVE to do that? That they should be able to, instead of sleeping with a Congressman, that they should be able to BE the Congressman instead? Isn't that what power is, to be able to move budgets and send armies, instead of sleeping with someone who can move armies?"
"Absolutely not," I said again, even more strongly. "In fact, I view that as one of the fundamental flaws of the mainstream feminist movement, that it views the two kinds of power that men and women have traditionally had, where men make on-record decisions and move armies and women sleep with the men that move armies--often in order to convince them to move armies--as unequal. I strongly disagree. The two kinds of power ARE equal, it just depends on which you feel more comfortable with."
Julia Roberts' character was (I assume) a traditional woman from East Texas, who would certainly not have called herself a feminist (as the LT pointed out, and I agreed) and I'm sure she wouldn't have thought of herself as powerful. But she was, in her sphere. What she cared about--the people of East Texas, the rights of humans all over the world, the specific cause of the slaughter of Afghanis--it never occurred to her to sit on her hands and mourn and do nothing just because she was a woman. She saw what she could do and she did it, and that is the MEANING of power, the idea that you, as a person can change your world, and I don't give a damn how women (or men, for that matter) personally choose to do it. The great moralist Terry Pratchett might have said it best, in Carpe Jugulum: "If we were men," Nanny Ogg says simply, "we would be talking about laying down our lives for our country. As women, we can talk about laying down."
Feminism has achieved the MAJOR goal--and never for one second think that I don't realize what a major achievement it is--of bringing the U.S. to the state in which women can be U.S. Congressmen. And I think that is wonderful. But Feminism should stop there. At no point should it tell women, "So, now that you HAVE the power to be a Congressman, it is no longer good to SLEEP with a Congressman to influence him; that is wrong, bad, and not empowering." (A word that I'm coming to hate.) "The only way to have power is to follow this path that we (Feminists For the Greater Good of Women) have pre-chosen for you; namely, you must attempt to be the Congressman* yourself." And now that THIS is the only way to behave, it is a short step to see that by the same argument, all the PREVIOUS attempts by women to change history with our traditional powers--Cleopatra leaps immediately to mind--are now examples of what NOT to do, so perhaps all of that history is sort of okay, since it already happened, but not really how women TODAY should behave. And it's a short step from there to hate your own gender for its previous accomplishments, and I'm not going to bother to explain that because it's a very gender-specific thought.
Feminism should never, ever, tell women HOW to behave. It has, and still is, putting the legal avenues in place for women to be congressmen, senators, and even president. (Placing us behind PAKISTAN in electing a woman Head of State, but that's another story.) And its role is not only legal; legal anti-discrimination policies equal social change. But when feminism steps in to tell women how to behave in this new and bright world that Feminism has created for them, it is just another way to control the actions of women. And I am against that at all costs.
*For brevity's sake, I've left out the argument about the word Congressman vs. Congresswoman, which could easily take up three hours.
Me: "Hey, I've lost eight pounds!"
LT: (wraps his arms around me and squeezes, appearing to meaure) "Hmm...I'd actually say seven."
It’s a Saturday morning and I’m doing one of those things that Seattlelites are amazingly lucky enough to do: I’m taking the ferry, and it is gorgeous.
It’s stunningly blue, stunningly bright. I just passed a lighthouse, which must have once seemed very tall but now seems to be fighting to hold its own against a forest of gigantic evergreens that has grown up around it. The horizon is too hazy to see either mountain range, which is almost a good thing—it occurs to me that having so much beauty around us, with water and mountains and hills of green, perhaps lowers the visual impact of each one. Today the ferry is sailing on a dislocated sea of blue, cradled only by haze and evergreens.
It’s Christmas time, and the LT and I did the normal thing and decorated his house—in a minimal way—for the winter holidays, hoping that might have some effect on the buyers. No angels, nothing that would be overly Christian, just a wreath and some ribbon. And two plants outside. My own apartment is not decorated yet; that waits for Thursday and T-Town Girl. But it’s not like I’ve been avoiding Christmas or my tasks altogether; heck, no! In fact, I discovered a very cheap way to do your Christmas shopping in Seattle: walk.
No, really. In jeans and comfortable shoes, you can easily walk from Capitol Hill to downtown, and catch a bus—for 1.25—on the way back, and you will have saved about ten dollars in parking and, if you’re me, a 35 dollar parking ticket. (By the way, I spent Friday morning defending two recent parking tickets, and got them both canceled. Thank you, city of Seattle.) I spent a whopping 87 dollars at Ross and got things for almost everyone on my list. Adding in the 2.75 cheese and tomato crumpet I got, the 2.52 chai, and the 1.64 tea, and that’s still incredibly cheap for a day of shopping. A full day, meals included! As I said before, there are many days where I just spend that at Starbucks alone.
Me, describing the situation at my new work site:
"Well, I'm the only girl among about thirty young men. I'm not model good-looking or anything, but-"
Jen: "Yes, you are!" (Then she takes in my jeans and unwashed hair.) "I mean, when you're cleaned up a bit..."
Hello to everyone! It is Tuesday, I'm still in debt but getting better, and I just ensured I would nullify all my getting-out-of-debt activities by planning travel to NYC, Pittsburgh, and Japan, in chronological order, clearly not in order of importance. That's right, I said Japan. The aforementioned Jen and her awesome husband, J, (and their last name starts with J, too) are off to Japan (which also starts with J) in May for about ten days, and I am determined to go with them. Having just paid down my American Express bill by $1500, I am all ready to charge it up again. The LT can't go, sadly, as he just started his Brand New Civilian Job! and has no vacation, but he said I could go anyway and I'm holding him to that.
In addition, I have lost six pounds--back to losing weight again, yay to losing weight but boo to HAVING to lose weight again--and I have bought this dishwasher, with Christmas money (thanks, Grandma).
It's amazing how personal improvement seems to happen in waves. Why is it so much easier to suddenly stop buying things and save like crazy to pay off an American Express bill than to just save throughout the year? Why is it easier to gain and lose weight than to just keep at a constant weight? A mystery, I tell you.
Me: "I finished Dracula!"
LT: "Wow, all in one day?"
Me: "Yes. It was really incredible. I expected it to be dry and it wasn't, not at all. I devoured it, no pun intended."
LT: "Good! Glad you enjoyed it. I hoped you would."
Me: "One odd thing, though. Not to put too feminist a spin on a classic work about my favorite subject, but I noticed some interesting views on women in that book. When human, they were these perfect examples of purity, innocence, and goodness, the perfect woman, who never had an impure thought or cursed or had any desire whatsoever. When they were in their vampire state, they were seductive, wanton, voluptuous, all 'kiss me, kiss me', with deep, kissable lips."
LT: "That's not how women are in real life?"
Yes, finally. It's here. The pictures from the Re-Organization of my apartment, affected by T-Town, and while you're at, she finally updated her blog today. I'm so proud.
First things first: Christmas tree.
It looks good from outside the window, too.
Mirror, decorated for Christmas. Sorry for the bluriness, but I hate flash.
Other mirror, decorated for Christmas. (See the little red bow?)
The whole setup, with both mirrors:
The picture in the middle is caricature done of my father when he was younger than I am now.
Eating nook:
Entryway.
Close up of the entry way, and you can see the range of my apartment to the rear of this picture, through the eating nook to the TV area.
Closeup of a Holiday decoration.
From the entry way we move on to the dog on the sofa:
Titan sez: Stop taking my picture. (You can see one of the chairs of the eating nook behind the sofa, if you're trying to get a sense for how my apartment is laid out.)
And finally, the view from the sofa:
Sofa and CD tower both scored for free off Freecycle, my favorite thing in the world.
And one more just for kicks:
My kitchen, with my favorite sign in the apartment.
That's all, folks! Hope you enjoyed! Notice there are no pictures of the computer at which I spend all of my time or the glowing pink exercise ball, so really this is a completely unrepresentative view of my apartment, but that's all that design magazines show anyway. Somewhere in there is an exercise bike, a computer, and a pink exercise ball--now you know.
