Tuesday, January 02, 2007

In Which The Universe Laughs at Me

I haven't made resolutions yet this year, much like I haven't yet sent out Christmas Cards, even though I've bought them, and I barely even wrapped my presents. (This whole "Christmas Spirit" thing fell completely by the wayside in competition with things like long skiing trips and my birthday!)

So it would be silly to say that one of my resolutions was to bring my lunch from home more often, since I don't HAVE resolutions.

But it WOULD be safe to say that I have a lot of leftovers in my fridge, and that some more of my (non-existent) New Year's Resolutions are to stop food waste and stop wasting so much money on food, a fact pointed out to me by the LT every damn time we go to one of my overpriced yuppie grocery stores and he looks at the price of meat (not meat for ME!) and says, "I can get four times this much meat for half of the price! THIS is where your money is going! Quit complaining about being broke!"

"I don't know what you mean?" I say politely, as I buy Tofutti Sour Supreme at 3.99, two blocks of Follow Your Heart Vegan Gourmet fcheese at 3.49 a piece, guacamole for 4.69, and a dark chocolate bar for 2.19, not to mention four frozen meals at 4.59 a pop.

Sigh. (AlsoIhavenotevenlookedatmybudgetsinceSeptember.) So far, though, I’m avoiding being quite as broke as I was LAST year at this time, barely barely. Barely.

It’s really only my own stupidity that has kept me from saving money on food, thus far. I don’t make big versions of things at once because I don’t like leftovers. I don’t like how leftovers, left in the pan, dry out at the very top. Some leftovers taste better the next day, but others really don’t, and I end up having to add sauces and things to them, not a bad thing in any case but it begins to feel like I’m cooking them again, and I don’t know. I have a block about leftovers. Especially when I make a large bread dish, for example, in a pan, and then I take out servings one at a time and the bread begins to gray on the edges because the pan is old and transferring its metal content to the bread, and the bread begins to taste rusty, almost bloody, and I think about throwing the whole thing out. And then I’m talking to T-Town and she says, “Why don’t you just split up the dish into Tupperwares? That’s what I do, right away, or else I won’t eat it.”

Like, DUH. Brainwave, anyone? This does mean, of course, that I’ll have to wash more dishes, but whatever. Landlord has a very nice dishwasher. But, anyway! Tupperware! How easy! I immediately divided the LT’s Christmas dinner leftovers among tupperwares, washed out the big pans, and felt very Betty Crocker.

And so this morning, when I left for work (first day back, hi everyone!) I just grabbed two tupperwares, and when I rolled into work, happily skipped to the fridge to put them in cold storage until lunch, and almost threw up.


Who in their right mind, may I ask you, unplugs a fridge without checking it first? Who unplugs a fridge and leaves it CLOSED? The entire office mini fridge is covered with green mold. It’s on the shelves, it’s on the walls. I don’t think it can be saved, and even if it could be, I’ll never put my food in there again. Oh. My. GOD. I almost hurled. And then I almost punched our secretary in the throat, because it was MY food that was in there! I mean, sure, I should have taken it home, but who doesn’t know that if you unplug a fridge, you should OPEN THE DOOR FIRST? Hello! The fridge is a sealed object! If you unplug it, the ice will melt! And then the humidity in the fridge will rise to an all-time high! And then it will mold!

I really, really want to ask for my money back, for my fifteen-dollar calzone, my three dollar nacho fcheese, and my four dollar fsour cream.


And now, on my first day back from break, I sit here eating my bread and tomato sauce, going rusty on the edges, and hope that my shepherd’s pie and alfreda sauce doesn’t go bad before lunch time.

I’m off to track down another fridge.

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