Overheard

Tri-Tip: So do you still want to go to lunch tomorrow?
Me: No. I got "Bobby" to take me instead.
Tri-Tip: LAME.
Me: But the next time you want to go to lunch, I will! I'll be your date! Not that you would EVER have a problem finding someone to eat lunch with, I'm sure.
Tri-Tip: Whatever, now I am annoyed, and I have work to do. Lameass.
Me: WHATEVER! I offered! And you rejected me!
Tri-Tip: No, I will not be responsible for you spending money! I don't want you blaming ME for your brokeass in your blog!
Me: That blog has become an animal.
Tri-Tip: Uh-huh. A scary one.

The Boy Currently Known As Bobby: "Check out the girl to your left. Do we know her?"
Me, after a subtle once-over: "I don't think so. But she does look familiar."
TBCKAB: "She looks like a lot of girls I knew in college."
Me: "Me too! It's because she's so vanilla."
TBCKAB: "HA! No wonder she looks nothing like you."
Me: "That was random. What?"
TBCKAB: "You are nowhere near vanilla! You are the Ben and Jerry's Everything But... flavor!"
Me: "HA! Everything But! They should hire me to sell the flavor."
TBCKAB: "They'd have to make a vegan one."