Titan did NOT get better right away.

And I was a basket case, during which my boyfriend was not the most supportive of people. Thursday night, as I'm watching my dog throw up every hour, he calls: "I really want you to come over! Titan will be fine by himself for an hour or two! I'd just leave him in the backyard with all the food he can eat and let him puke it out of his system. But I admit that I don't know anything about dogs and it's probably not very good advice." I resisted the urge to insult him, reminding myself that I was tired and stressed and emotionally twisted.

The interesting thing is that I really didn't WANT a lot of support. At other, similar, times in my life, I've been all about being on the phone constantly, crying on other people's shoulders. This time, not so much. I called my two close friends who also have dogs--Jess, and Rachel--and they comforted me over the phone. (Jess brought over cooked rice in case Titan could hold food down! Awwwww...) And that was helpful. But beyond them--I didn't feel like outpouring to others, I felt like drawing inside myself and spending all the energy I had on my dog.

Friday he got worse and worse, not even being able to hold down ice cubes, and finally at 2:00 pm I took him into the vet's office for IVs, worried I'd never see him again. Then a second interesting thing happened: I picked up the phone to call my boyfriend and really didn't want to talk to him; I didn't think he would care and I didn't want to hear him pretending support just because he thought he should.

So I called an Ex instead, who I hadn't talked to for almost a year, and who had just begun text messaging me a few days before, and we talked for half an hour while I drank a cup of coffee, sitting in my Jeep with the doors open in the sunshine in the vet's office parking lot. Very calming.

I head up to Seattle, because I have to go meet a guy to tutor him. He's an adult, which I don't find particularly funny--he's studying for the GREs to go back to grad school, more power to him--except that I'd forgotten how much harder it is to tutor adults than children! ARGH! As a child, I hated asking for help--I wanted to pretend to myself and others that I knew everything already. This adult guy, C, at least doesn't have that--he's probably twice my age at least; plently old enough to know what he doesn't know. The problem is, he's very exactly sure of WHAT he doesn't know. He didn't give me a chance to talk at all--he had very specific ideas of what he wanted to do, and what he didn't want to do, and how he wanted me to spend my time--that's great, but honey, I'M the tutor. I know more about math (his subject of need, why is that always the case?) than he ever will, and he's trying to tell me how to do my job! Adults are like that--he's hiring a specialist, and he wants to get the most for his money by telling his specialist exactly what do to. Would he hire an interior decorator, or a heart surgeon, and then tell them exactly what furniture he wanted where, and how many valves he wanted replaced? (Actually, now that I've spent some time with this guy, I think he probably would.)

No matter. I swallow my pride and move on to meet my girl Shrewsbury at The Melting Pot, which has a great early happy hour, and on the way the vet calls and says they want to keep Titan overnight for more IV re-hydration, which is actually a big load off my shoulders--I know they can give him better care than I can, and once he's already at the vet's office, the trauma of being there is done--he might as well stay until he's 100% better. Rolling home after two glasses of wine, I send good thoughts to my dog and head over to the boy's house, where we talk about nothing that is bothering me (sigh) and then to a house party, where I see tons of people I went to elementary school AND middle school AND highchool with. God love you, Tacoma.

This morning I got Titan home and he seems to be doing fine--he's eaten twice, now, and is holding his food down just fine! YAY!!!!!

Thank you, everyone, for your good wishes. I love you all.