Last Week On The World of Aarwenn, or, why I hate Sundays
(sniffle, sniffle, hacking cough) (wine hangover)
I would like to thank all of my friends, relatives, and Roommates, who allowed me to grab them and chatter wildly at them about my love life this weekend. Let it be known here, on this blog, that I have solved the problem. I Know What I Am Doing Wrong.
(Just, um, 7328 more wrong things to go.)
But the one that I have recently discovered and may actually Do Something About is this:
I live in my life in one-week story arcs.
Yes, it's true. For my entire adult life I have hated Sunday afternoons and evenings, completely and fully. Hated them. With A Passion. I sink into a depression every week and refuse to be roused. And I had no idea why, until I was talking to T-Town (one of the many, many people I forced to listen to me this weekend) and I said something about how, oh well, this week coming up is a new week with no mistakes in it, and it HIT ME. While it is beneficial indeed to one's psyche to think of each day as a brand-new day, I have carried the notion too far. I view Sunday as the end of the hour of sitcom and am completely depressed at having to leave my viewing audience. And, like the Simpsons or The Family Guy, my main character (hi!), although she is taught important lessons each week, does not retain a THING from week to week and is doomed to repeat her story line, over and over again.
No longer. I'm trying to retain. Really and truly. In the same way that a relationship can be dual-personality drunk or sober, I think I also have weekday relationships and weekend relationships. Maybe it's due to me having a weekday personality and a weekend personality? Who knows?
In other news, apparently some of the other B----- New Hires (and some of their friends, mainly from places like Michigan or Wisconsin) think that I'm weird and sort of far-out. Not in a good or bad way, more like an animal at the zoo. Is this somehow connected to my weekday/weekend personality? Should I be worried that I am disassociating, encouraging both personalities at once, and possibly developing into a sociopath?
I don't think so. I think I am who I am--not to misquote Popeye--and that on the workdays I tone myself down a bit because, you know, B----- wouldn't be happy about me coming to work in black vinyl chaps (of which there WILL be pictures) and using the f-word all the time. Not that I enjoy it, this making myself bland--I long for the day when I own my own business and I can possibly wear Really Cute Jeans and a blazer to work--but it has to happen, and for now I'm okay with that.
7 comments:
In other news, apparently some of the other B----- New Hires (and some of their friends, mainly from places like Michigan or Wisconsin) think that I'm weird and sort of far-out.
I think that's not too uncommon for fellow graduates of our Alma Mater. The world is a little different, maybe unprepared, once we step across Forbes Ave. I don't see it as a bad thing.
CMU is certainly an atypical engineering school, although my visits at MIT proved it to be pretty similar. (They work hard and play hard; I walked in on several rooms doing nitrous.) So, yes, CMU students are weird, and I started out weird to begin with, being from Seattle--it's culture shock to those from, say, Michigan. Apparently I now have a reputation as a coke-snorting bisexual succubus. Suffice it to say that this is a gross exaggeration. Worse, I don't know what to do to fix it--emphasize my volunteer work at my church? My singing in the choir? No one will apparently hang out with me long enough for me to prove otherwise anyway; I can almost feel the fear that I might suddenly drag them into a dark alley, force them into unspeakable sex acts and jab a needle in the arm, and worse, that they'll like it. I represent to them things they've shut away in the darkest corners of their mind, because that's what you do in, say, Cleveland.
So your life is like "Curb Your Enthusiasm"? Every week, Larry does something stupid, Cheryl gets pisssed off ...
Interesting observation about living life in one-week arcs. I've always disliked Sunday nights, too. They were one long reminder that I had to go back to school, and then, they were one long reminder that I had to go back to work.
These days, I work from home, so the ennui isn't as bad, but it's still there.
Think of your life as a spiral, not a circle. You may come back around to similar circumstances, but you're higher (more evolved?!) than you were the last time you were in that place.
I definitely have have two different personalities - Work Erin and Any-Other-Time-Erin.
I used to be the same person at work and at play. But that lead to rumors, drama, and eventually getting stabbed in the back by coworkers who were supposedly friends. As a result, I keep to myself at work and resume my normal outgoing personality outside of work.
I thought that when I switched jobs I could go back to the old me, but not so. They all looked at me like I was from another planet.
I chalk it up to some people just don't live life as largely as some people. And those that don't just don't know how to handle those that do.
Not that this helps you out in any way. But at least you know you're not alone.
In a nutshell, you're larger than life. You're one of the people who others collect stories about, "I've got this one friend who..."
*grins* Though honestly, I don't quite have as many Aarwenn stories as I do aeo stories...
-Q
Now who, exactly, is aeo? And why do I feel the need to share more stories to compete with this unknown crazy person? I've realized recently that a lot of my stories never make it onto the blog because they either a) seem too commonplace, or b) are so downright disgusting or crazy that I wouldn't force them upon anyone. :)
Oh come on, the crazy stories are WHY we read your blog. Amy. She was the triple major CS/HCI/Spanish who enjoyed dancing on the bar while sober. Her latest spring break plans apparently is a week trip to argentina or something like that.
-Q
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