Tuesday, February 13, 2007


I have a long article I want to write and I can’t start it.

I want to write about freedom, and why, as a feminist, I am not against sex work, or strip clubs, or the recent boon in sexy coffee stands.

And somehow I want to tie that in to my opinion about the Navy employing anti-terrorism dolphins.

Wish me luck.

Part of the reason I don’t want to write is because, jeez, I know I’m right already, so why bother trying to convince people that they should agree with me? If they don’t agree with me, they’re dumb, and if they do, they already do—my writing isn’t going to change a thing.

Except possibly make me feel better.


alex said...

... the recent boon in sexy coffee stands.

That's it. I'm narrowing my job search to the Seattle area.

alex said...

The dolphin thing is neat. I'm trying to imagine swimming around and being approached by a sea lion...who then comes up and ties a rope around my leg.

In any case, I can only imagine what your thoughts are on the dolphins, but it can't be any worse than
using mind control on sharks and rats.

Aarwenn said...

I would freak the eff out, do you know how BIG sea lions are??

Aarwenn said...

Regarding sexy coffee stands, I can only hope that aesthetic applies to the REST of Seattle, although Capitol Hill in general appears to be moving quickly up in style quotient.

Uscar said...

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! You can just use your half of the conversation we had a couple weeks back for part of it.

Julie said...

Pardon my ignorance, I'm just a lowly Canuck. I'm a little confused by this plan. Is it the U.S. Armed Forces goal to become a laughingstock for the ENTIRE world? Was this mandated somewhere?

I mean, is it not bad enough that a frickin' lite brite shut down an entire city? Now they're dragging taking flipper down too?

Aarwenn said...

Oh, Julie, cheap shot! What's the difference between using patrol dolphins and using bomb-sniffing dogs?

And what lite brite? :)

julie said...

The Boston "terrorist" scare was a glorified lite brite. In all seriousness, I understand that terrorist attacks on home soil are hard to recover from and you're still a nation healing. But it's a fine line between "National Security" and "Xenophobic, tin foil hat-wearing consipracy theorist."

The Flipper Protection Agency sounds like it was cooked up by the latter, after a lot of really good pot. I mean: "Sea lions can carry in their mouths special cuffs attached to long ropes. If the animal finds a rogue swimmer, it can clamp the cuff around the person's leg. The individual can then be reeled in for questioning."

WTF??? How can that make you do anything but giggle? It sounds like bad sci-fi. If the prisoner tries to escape, will the sea lions rough him up? What if it's some innocent dude out for a swim and the sea lion cuffs him around the neck? I don't think seals are equipped to perform CPR.

I gather this means we disagree. I'm cool with that, even if it does mean I'm dumb. ;)

Aarwenn said...

Oh, honey, every time I think we are going to disagree, you make me laugh instead!

It DOES sound like sci-fi, now that you mention it--the idea of anti-terrorism dolphins is funny--but really, in all honesty, I think they're going to work well. The Navy has done this for about 50 years already, so there might be some kinks, but it'll be entertaining, at least!

Sea lions are no joke, let me tell you, those beasts are HUGE. I'd much rather be beaconed by a dolphin than clamped by a sea lion, and I don't think any additional roughing up would be needed--a sea lion could catch you and clamp you faster than you can change direction in the water, even with fins and a motor on.

HOWEVER! You are really funny. :)

alex said...

If the prisoner tries to escape, will the sea lions rough him up?

Good call, Julie. That's just what we need. Sea lion brute squad!

Actually, I doesn't really sound much like science fiction at all...I would say more like Disney-family-feel-good fiction. You know, boy meets sea lion, boy befriends sea lion, boy finds out sea lion is a government agent, sea lion mistakenly tries to cuff the boy so other agents can reel him in, boy escapes, boy frees sea lion from evil government overlords, boy says good-bye to sea lion in teary denouement, sea lion lives happily ever after on Catalina Island.