Yes, I Brushed My Teeth Anyway

This morning I woke up (blearily), stumbled to the bathroom, (even more blearily), (no, I am not drinking a lot anymore mom, thanks anyway, I always wake up like this) and fumbled around in my special "M" mug that holds the toothbrush and toothpaste, only to find them not there.

Yes. My toothbrush and toothpaste have disappeared overnight.

Actually, I'm pretty sure they disappeared overnight THREE nights ago, when I dug them out of my ski bag to use them and then...somehow...they flew into the ether, never to return. I have searched my apartment. I have no idea where they could have gone to, and while I did find this when I returned home yesterday...


...possibly suggesting that foul play had occurred and my toothbrush and toothpaste COULD be in mortal danger, I am pretty sure that particular plastic bag held a crust of bread, and that it was probably eaten by Titan Poltergeists. Poltergeists on the Atkins diet who just could not help themselves when they saw my crust of bread. It is the ONLY logical explanation.

I would never attack your bread. Even when possessed by poltergeists. Please leave me to my drool.