Thursday, January 03, 2008

Time Warp/Space Warp

You ever have one of those mornings where you get up and you stumble around for a minute and you think, "What the hell day is it? What day was yesterday? What's the last day I can remember?" and then you realize you haven't even been drinking?

I woke up this morning tired, stumbled out into my living room and almost tripped on my bike, which I'd spend an hour setting up on the trainer and riding the night before, and then was equally surprised by my gigantic pink exercise ball that I blew up to be a chair in front of my computer. Lifting Titan's leash off the hook by the door, I looked at the new prong collar attached to it and thought, "Wow, did I buy that only YESTERDAY?"

I don't why it happened like that. It was just one of those morning.

As the most casual reader has already guessed, the bike propped up on an exercise trainer and the gigantic pink exercise ball have been installed solely to annoy the, I mean, because of New Year's Resolutions! Although I fear they will annoy the LT greatly--my apartment is already quite small, and a large glowing pink rubber ball and a bike sitting on a trainer just take up more of the space, and the LT will be spending quite a lot of time here in the future as he is in the process of moving from 75 miles away to FIVE miles away! Yay!

Pretty soon we'll have a real, in-the-city relationship. I'll get to see him on weeknights. We can watch TV together, take Titan to the dog park together, maybe even cook together. Maybe we can become less dependent on going out to eat and join a gym. Maybe I'll suddenly develop the discipline needed to finish my novel and sell it. Maybe all sorts of things.

No matter what, time with the LT will now be in abundance. This has put all sorts of thoughts in my head, none of them asking if they're allowed there or saying as much as excuse me. Suddenly I'm looking forward to cooking for him, seeing what he likes and doesn't like, maybe moving beyond the world of "sauce made out of everything" over "leftover pasta". I'm picturing myself spending time with him in the evenings and making dessert, or maybe bread, while he chills, being online or maybe watching TV, and then I pretty much want to stab myself in the eyeball because I can't BELIEVE I am imagining a scenario where the LT will sit on the sofa and I'll be cooking and I'll be HAPPY about it.

Here's real life: I'm tutoring three nights a week--Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday--so there will be no Betty Crockering on those nights, and when I'm not tutoring, I'm going to want the TV to myself, goddammit, because I too have shows I want to watch and they all feature stylish women in the work place making funny, sarcastic comments about each others' love lives while dressed impeccably with perfect lighting. And at no point do I enjoy cooking for the LT without him helping me, or at least watching, or at least being within shouting distance as he relays me the news of the day or I can ask him to chop garlic and onions (something he used to do a lot when my kitchen was open, but now as the kitchen is barely big enough for two people, it never happens. Boo.) And even if we do cook together and I get control of the TV, WHEN am I going to ride my exercise bike or do sit ups on my glowing pink exercise ball? I positively drip with sweat when on the bike and then I make unattractive groaning sounds as I do sit ups, and I'm not sure I want the love of my life seeing me in either of those situations.

Those of you who live with or within biking distance of your significant others, how do you DO it? Hope he comes home later than you do or that he leaves earlier? Wake up way earlier? Agree that you won't spend time together more than two nights a week because of tutoring and a night or two to myself? I'm doing the math and it's not adding up. Help.


sarah said...

So, Erik and I don't live together, or within biking distance of one-another (that would be one hell of a workout though...) but we sort of have a "schedule" for when we see each other. I'll start at the end of the week, since that's easier. Erik comes over Friday after work. He stays here for the night. We pack up and head to his house Saturday and I stay there Saturday and Sunday. For the rest of the week, it depends. I'll be in class on Tuesday nights, so I won't see him then, so I may go over there again on Monday, he'll come over to me on Wednesday, and we'll have Thursday "free" (unless I swap out Monday for Thursday). Confusing? Sometimes...

This is great for me, because that means that I only have to cook for him once a week, though I do help him out when I'm over there. And we still have our own time when we need it. Communication has been key here. If we need more time to ourselves, we take it.

Can't think of anything else. Back to my sick bed... Thanks for the advice yesterday. I used it last night and it did help.

T-town Girl said...

Clearly DH and I live within biking distance of one another seeing as how we actually live together yet we still have a schedule for alone time/workout time/ together time.
Mondays – Mostly alone time. I try to make it to Yoga at the gym and he comes with me sometimes but usually Mondays are his X-Box days.
Tuesdays – I meet a friend at the gym and DH spends time in his studio or on the computer.
Wednesdays – Date night. Always.
Thursdays - Usually chore night because I like to have a clean house for the weekend.
Friday through Saturday – We do social things, usually together but not always.
So, although we are married, we still get 2 or 3 nights a week that are mostly alone time or at least time where we do our own thing.

C said...

I wish I could offer you advice. However, as you know, the Navy does a lot for ensuring I have "me" time. (Well, after RR goes to bed.)

By the way, I just checked out a lot of the links on your sidebar. Love them! How do you find this stuff?

l-t said...

c- she finds that stuff INSTEAD of cooking fancy or using her glowing pink exercise ball. ;)

Aarwenn- LT on the sofa watching HIS TV shows, GF cooking: MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! My plan is coming to fruition!

Anonymous said...

During our courtship, (and holy hell does that sound antiquated or what?) the husband and I lived a few blocks apart. It was a good sign, this appreciation of the downtown life... We didn't structure it at all, we were just lucky that we could decide, at 6:30 or so, that we wanted to go for dinner and at 7:00 we'd meet at the restaurant.

Eventually, we were spending 5 or 6 nights a week at one or the other's place. We had keys so that one could start dinner at the other's place. We got to a comfort level that using the pink exercise ball while the other was there wasn't a big deal.

Then we decided it was dumb to keep two places. Now look at us... Just sayin'

Aarwenn said...

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all your comments!

LT: You better watch it, boy. I can become vegan again at any time. Just warning you. :)

C: LT is right, if you spent half your life on the computer you'd find that stuff, too!

l-t said...

I cannot plan to meet Aarwenn at a restaurant at seven. If I did, I would end up drunk and passed out while waiting on her to get there, since she'd habitually get there at 8:30.

Sarah said...

Hey Maggie... when my boyfriend and I weren't living together we typically spend 1-2 week day nights together and 1-2 weekend nights. We didnt have set days we'd see each other, but let it flow with our schedules. He tends to have less structured time than i do and also doesn't need as much social interaction as me. So I would plan my weeks and fill them with knitting circle nights, cooking with the girls nights, working, and then boyfriend and bar night and dinner with boyfriend night. I never really paid that much attention to what he did on nights off. But it was pretty important for both of us to have space.
Now we live together and we see each other a whole lot more. It's actually made things a whole heck of a lot easier. Now we don't HAVE to schedule time together.. it happens no matter what. So if I have a really busy week I still get to see him pretty much every night when I go to bed. And that is so awesome on long work days or stressful times. That being said we generally still make sure to plan at least one "us" night a week.
Hope that helps.
Also you're blog is fan damn tastic : )

Aarwenn said...

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for your blog compliments! And also thanks for the advice--so far, that's exactly how the schedule is working out; 1-2 week nights together, usually weekends together.

LT: At least 8. Give me SOME credit!