Oh yeah, comment on me, baby! HARDER! OH BABY, COMMENT AGAIN!

Not really sure what was up with that title.

("Faster, faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!")

There's been a lot of blog traffic recently about hate mail.

This lovely woman has certainly had more than her share, as a chick in San Francisco writing a quirky, amusing and popular blog. (K, if you're out there, can you respond with the links to The Posts Heard 'Round The World?)

That is, if a girl like K with a hot boyfriend and demanding Bob even wants to take time to purposely search for her own hate mail. I did a quick search and couldn't find anything, because I couldn't remember the name of the posts or even what they were about. Why?

The Number One Reason Why Hate Mail Sucks: It totally obscures the original issue.

For examples, look at any Craigslist Rants 'N' Raves Board. Or this now infamous post, or hell, any post on the most famous blog ever, especially this entry, which started my own post. Do an experiment: read those posts, read the comments, and then try to remember what the original poster actually said. See? Totally impossible.

Which didn't used to bug me--I've always been firmly in the mushy-supportive-love youSOMUCH camp of commenting--until last week.

Because in the last week, you see, I've come across several posts that...well...what's a good way to ...they bug the shit out of me.

As in, I TOTALLY disagree with them and think the poster is stupid. (Full disclosure: I was on the rag.)

And of course, after a few minutes of serious contemplation, it becomes clear to me that one post really hasn't obliterated my good opinion of said bloggers. They're all still great, intelligent writers, and I will continue to enjoy their posts. And have.

But there were a couple times there--short-lived--where I was in the middle of composing a vitriol-filled hate mail of a comment--and I suddenly stopped and thought, What the HELL am I doing? What have I become?

So I deleted the comments before they were finished and went on with my life. And I made the write decision. (HA!)

But it got me thinking. Because blogs are all about open discourse, right? The ubiquitous O puts it best: "The internet serves the unique purpose of providing everyone who has access to a computer with a voice, creating channels of communication that we couldn’t even have imagined twenty years ago."

And that's why people HAVE blogs--to generate discussion and get in touch with millions of readers we'll never meet. I'm thankful for my IIFs. What would I do without them? And if I withold my comments on a post I disagree with--especially if I cleanse them of vitriol--am I really doing them a favor by witholding my opinion, which surely they desire? Isn't hate mail defined, by connotation, as generally anonymous and hate-filled, and not signed by a familiar IFF and well-thought-out? Is there a difference?

NO. There is not. If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Who's to say that my well-thought-out isn't someone else's vitriol-filled? How many people have already used that excuse? Don't be them.

So, two personal rules for bad-comment-writing:

1. Sleep on it. Almost anything that you can say in a comment has already been said by the dozens of others who read that blog daily. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake--really, it's not IMPERATIVE that the blogwriter hear YOUR PERSONAL THOUGHTS on this issue. If, in a few days, you still think you have a unique comment, you may make it.

2. If you really want to say something immediately, write about it in your OWN blog! After all, long-drawn-out comments are for suckers! Write in your OWN blog! And if you want to tie it in, you can always send the original blog author a note saying, "Hey, I wrote about this issue in my own blog, take a look if you want", and they can make it their choice.

(Or you can leave a comment to that affect! HA!)