I am sitting.

In my new and very dark apartment, on the floor, by myself. My dog is asleep behind me, also on the floor. I cannot see the keyboard; this is how dark it is.

I am facing my new balcony. The sliding glass doors and the windows on either side of the balcony face the other fifty apartments that face me. My blinds are fully up, exposing me sitting on the floor with only my computer. Someone in another apartment facing me would see only my head and upper torso, illuminated by my computer, floating in a sea of blackness.

I cannot grasp the fact that it is 8:00 pm and I don't have to go bed soon because I don't have to get up any earlier than six. I may not fully shake the feeling of having to go to bed before 9 on Sundays for a very long time. I may never shake it.

I feel like I will never move from this spot, that I will die here with my computer, with my windows staring at the fifty sets of windows across from me, forever.