Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Do Y'all Ever Want to Be Anonymous?

Sometimes, I read my IIF's blogs, (my single girls, you know I'm talking to you!) and I just want to scream, "XXXXXXXXX!"

The X's are in place because what I want to say will probably insult them.

It's odd that these women and I have so much in common--bloggers, internet addicts, all about the same age, all looking for love, professional, pet owners...and yet we are so different in the way we approach our love lives. Proving, once again, that your immediate peer group--as in, the girls that you've grown up with and actually see on a regular basis, or at least enough to party with--are the biggest influence in your life, no matter how much time you spend on the internet.

Some blogging women really inspire me--Crazy Aunt Purl, for example, is my hero. Other women inspire me on a more intermittent basis, as I'm sure I do to others--we all have our moments of brilliance!

But it's my girlz who influence me the most. I party with them, I look at boys with them, it's them I call when I need advice right this minute, so it's only natural that their outlook on love is what influences me the most. And, from reading blogs, it's becoming more clear to me that we're awfully old-fashioned.

Blame our mothers--both my mother and JustMarriedFriend's mother are Southern. And old. And still with their husbands. BestFriend's mother was raised conservatively and BestFriend's father was too, so when they wanted to start sleeping together, they got married first. And they're still together. SouthernBelle is, obviously, Southern. And on top of all that, I surround myself with men 24-7--I live with one, I'm dating one, I work with all men, etc, etc. It's impossible to describe how little female interaction I get during a typical day--no roommate to come home to, only two women in my entire building that are anywhere close to my age, etc, etc. The few women I do talk to--including close friends and business friends--I have bonded with very closly, but we get about 10 minutes a week to talk.

What does all this add up to? I'm old fashioned. (Girls, you would be surprised how conservative men really are in their love lives.) I went through a 'chasing men' period right when I moved back to my hometown from college, and I hated myself every second of it. Before that, and since then, I've let men come to me, and it's worked beautifully. So what does this have to do with the title? I want to be an anonymous advice giver for my blogging girls, so that I can say what I think with no repercussions. And hope my little bit of anonymous advice will sink in. But that's a low-class, cowardly thing to do--hiding behind anonymity. I can either say what I think and be prepared to defend it, or I can keep my mouth shut. And right now I'm opting for shut. I love you all.


T-town Girl said...

Yes, it is true that my parents (and you and I for that matter) were raised fairly conservatively and it is true that they are still together but they are busting out a bit. They did just get tattoos for their anniversary. Also, I don't really understand how we qualify as conservative. I may have calmed down a bit but BestFriend has had her wild years and would like to think they are not entirely over.

ramblin' girl said...

feel free to give me advice (non-anonymously) at any time that you want!

Sherri said...

It's so easy to go crazy when you are single (and sometimes lonely), but I have to say that I admire you for being old-fashioned. I think you will find a better quality guy that way. I know I was a wild one before I settled down. Now I just have to settle for being wild in my imagination!

Aarwenn said...

Well, thanks to both of you! And RG, you're going to be sorry you said that. :)

kiwi said...

I'm sorry, I will NEVER see you as conservative. And I'm pretty sure I had no idea you were unhappy with yourself when you were out kicking it up. Huh.

T-towns parents got tattoos on their ANNIVERSARY? I can't quite picture my parents doing that.

You could do what Robin did and fake notes to yourself about people you want to give advice to, and then write advice to the thinly veiled 'fake' them. You were a great fake advice writer, why wouldn't you be witty and intelligent at giving real advice?

Aarwenn said...

I was ready to date again and I gave off this flare of desperation. I was fun to party with--because I was up for anything--but I'd go home at night and think, why hasn't he called? It didn't get me down in the same way because I was living with BestFriend and together, we didn't give a fuck about anything, but I would have felt a little better if I hadn't been so desperate.

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

I love advice, after all that is why I blog: THERAPY for me. After all I have to re-learn how to be single again and need advice.