Friday, August 19, 2005

Sex In This City

You know over there, to your right, on my profile?

How I talk about ups and downs in this life I call mine?

It's definitely been one of those weeks months.

(For example, I am posting at 9:00 on a Friday night.)

My girlfriends and I are having one of those Sex in the City nights. Not the kind of nights made famous on the HBO show, but a real sex in the city night. Where everyone is single, no one is having actual sex, and everyone is on the phone. Separately. In their own houses.

It starts with LongtimeFriend.

LF: So, what are you doing?

Me: Oh, I'm sitting on the floor in an empty room, reading blogs, on a very small laptop. (I'm not joking, y'all. Said room is my roommate's old room, and it has one of the two activated cable modem outlets, and y'all know I can't live without my internet. So I'm in Old Roommate's old room, stripped bare of stuff, sitting on the floor.)

LF: Hmmm, that sounds exciting.

Me: Yeah. (phone beeps) Oh, that's SouthernBelle, I need to talk to her, I'll call you back.

Note to my readers: SouthernBelle is a woman who is ten years my senior and can party me into the ground and drink me under the table. She is incredible and wild and wonderful. When we go out, we do extremely illegal things and cause EXTREME amounts of trouble. It's unbelieveable that I am not in jail.

SouthernBelle: Hey, whatcha doin'?

Me: Contemplating some week-old pasta. You?

SB: I'm answering some work emails and sending out my resume. (Notice that she is both working for her current job and looking for another one at the same time. Reminds you of the early 90's, doesn't it?)

Me: Oh yeah? What's wrong with the old job?

SB: Bastards shorted me three grand on my last paycheck.

Me: Shit.

SB: Yeah. It's time to move. How's things with you?

Me: Oh, it's going to take the repair shop a month to fix my Jeep, I have no idea how I'm going to live without a car, MaleRoommate got his key today, and that's weird, TheBoy is leaving for Ghana in a month and I have no idea how I feel about that, and my work project drags on and on and it's way behind schedule and I'll probably be Reprimanded for it.

SB: Yeah? What's the damage going to be on your Jeep?

Me: $8800. Which the insurance will cover, so it's just the deductible for me--about $500 or so, plus the ticket, plus possibly renting a loaner from the repair shop.

SB: Damn.

Me: Yeah, I have the money, or almost, it's just that I was saving it for fun things. Like, mods to the Jeep. Not repairs.

SB: Yeah, I've noticed that the more money you make, the more expensive life's surprises are. It's like, in college, when you have a dropped-class fee and it's $50 you think, Damn, how am I going to get that much money? Now that you have big fancy job, wrecked car fees are more like $1000, and you think, Damn, how am I going to get that much money?

Me: Yeah. It's like, the more expensive the shit you own is, the more expensive it is to repair.

SB: Yeah. Now, if the apartment building burned, I'd be real upset--Motherfucker! I bought that shit!

Me: Yeah. Listen, I gotta call Longtime Friend back. Good talking to you.

SB: You too, have a good night.

Me: Hi, LF.

LF: Hey. So, whatcha doing now?

Me: Choking down some cold week-old pasta. I just tossed half of it out, it's disgusting. You?

LF: Yeah, I'm contemplating making food. I know I should eat, but I can't bring myself to waste the energy.

Me: That's what I ate the pasta even though it was gross.

LF: Yeah, I have a ton of food ingredients at home, but I might just go to Fancy Grocery Store and buy something.

Me: Yeah. Now I'm contemplating opening a bottle of wine.

LF: Oh yeah? Something good?

Me: No, it's a $4 bottle of Zin.

LF: Yeah. I should go and finish up some schoolwork.

Me: Yeah. Talk to you later.

LF: See ya.

Notice, in all this conversation, no one once tried to make plans to get together. We're all standing in our kitchens, on the phone with each other, doing jack shit. I thought about trying to make plans, and then I thought, do I really want to? And the answer is no.

See how exciting?


Autumn Storm said...

Sometimes doing jack shit can be just what the doctor ordered.
Entertaining to read though!

dewey said...

Hahahaha! One of my guy friends asked me if I was out last night, finding a "replacement cock". I pointed out that since by 9:00 am, I had run a couple of errands, had my Starbucks (one $5 coffee a week only, thankyouverymuch), and read the paper, it should tip him off as to what kind of rocking good time I had last night.

Besides, the little gay boy at the video store and the little Chinese man who delievered my dinner are hardly eligible candidates.

Aarwenn said...

I don't know, SheWalks made enough of an impression on her Indian Restaurant Guy that he asked her out, remember?

kiwi said...

Hey, can you elaborate on the illegal shit that SouthernBelle gets you into doing. I still want to meet her, too, btw. She sounds super cool. I remember when you told me you met her, through dogs, right? I find it hard to believe you need a bad influence in your life, but...

Aarwenn said...

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Sometimes doing just that is the best thing. I do that more often than not and constantly think I must be the only one....

Shananigans said...

I used to go out all the time. I would be crawling out of my skin if it was Friday night and something had not yet come up or plans fell through. That was before full time work and responsibility came into play. I’ve noticed that work, no matter how much you may like your job, seriously gets in the way of party. Also, living in Los Angeles there is no such thing as places to go within "stumbling distance" (OK, well nothing good in my neighborhood anyway) so even when I do go out I can only have like, two drinks. If I stay home I can drink a whole bottle of wine if I want to (not that I would, just sayin’, you know). So I will blame my current hermitdom on the unfortunate circumstances of “too tired cause I work so goddamn hard to pay the bills” and “oh, but that so far.” Sad, I know.

Ms. Pan said...

I want to meet SouthernBelle, too--she sounds familiar! And like a great influence! :-)