Blogging the Relationship (7)

It always comes down to this. This moment of indecision. This point in the telephone conversation in which neither party has a strong opinion. And you're trying to decide something, anything, be it the movie you're planning to watch or the restaurant to go to for dinner or who's going to who's house, and the silence stretches on and on and because you're on the phone, you can't read their expression or tone and you want to disctract yourself by tickling them or stripping or getting up and getting a glass of water or changing the volume on the radio or really, any one of a thousand little things people do to cover up the fact that the silence is still going on, but you can't because you're ON THE GODDAMMED PHONE, and now you begin to doubt yourself, you think, Do I realy have an opinion on this? I thought I didn't, but maybe I should create one just so I have SOMETHING TO SAY, but then you become worried you'll make the WRONG snap decision, and the silence is still happening, and you begin to wonder how much plane flights are to the Bahamas and if it would be easier just to hang up and break up with the person rather than trying to ignore the fact that both of you are spineless wimps with nothing better to do than sit on the phone and attempt to make a simple decision that doesn't matter in the long run, anyway.

Roommate was once dating a girl. (I swear, it happens!) (Hi, Roommie!) (Blogging Audience: in real life, Roomie is a stud that has no trouble finding women.) Anyway, things were going along okay, they weren't making wedding plans or anything but they enjoyed each other's company, until one fateful day when she said she was hungry and he said, "I'm not, but we can go pick something up for you, where do you want to go?"

...And she didn't have an opinion on the FOOD SHE WANTED TO PUT IN HER MOUTH.

"Pick for me," she said.

Roomie, telling me this story later, broke off here and said, "I was like...seriously? You're really serious? Because now I'm beginning to think I'd rather claw my eyes out with a fork than date you anymore."

So! Decision making! Important! And hard to do, especially on the phone, especially when you want to say I SWEAR I'M NOT BEING A SPINELESS WIMP, I JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A STRONG OPINION, SO GO AHEAD AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND I'LL BE OKAY WITH IT.

The LT and I, on the phone:

LT: So, I could come over tomorrow.
Me: Okay.
LT: Is that okay?
Me: Sure, I love having you over! But it's a long way.
LT: And I'm not sure how demanding my work schedule will be.
Me: And I'll see you on Thursday anyway when I go over there.
LT: ...so am I coming over?
Me: If you want. I mean, I'd like to have you, but I don't want to put you out.
LT: I don't want to encroach on your alone time.
Me: And I appreciate that! Part of my responsibility in this relationship is to a) recongize the vague but unhappy feeling I get when my alone time is being encroached upon, and b) speak up, and I promise I will do my best to do both those things, but I'm not feeling that way right now.
LT: (Laughing) Okay.
Me: Believe me, there will be times when I REALLY NEED YOU TO COME OVER BECAUSE I WILL FALL APART WITHOUT YOU. But this is not one of those times.
LT: So I could come over tomorrow.
Me: Yes, if it works with your schedule.

--Five minutes more of this go on, and then:--

Me: So I guess we've arrived at this question: if there's no pressing reasons why we SHOULDN'T see each other, and we have time, does that mean we should?
LT: I think Yes.
Me: Me too.
LT: Okay, I'm packing a bag.
Me: Yay!