It is not my day

1. This morning about 1 am, I'm jolted awake in a panic by a loud, metallic, CRASH somewhere in my house. My first thought is, of course, OHmygod someone's trying to break in! I spring out of bed, completely nude. (Hey, I went to bed with a head full of wine, okay?) I can't see anything, but the moon is out and after a second my eyes adjust. I creep out of my room, thinking, Why aren't the pets going crazy? Then I see it, or rather, him, poor guy. Titan is standing in front of me with something large and vaguely rectangular HANGING from his collar! I get up close and I discover that the poor dog fell asleep on top of the vent, as usual, but the licenses and things on his collar chose this night to slip through the actual vents and then turn sideways, locking the vent to his collar, so that when he went to stand up, he took the whole vent with him!

Once I discover this, I have a very hard time not laughing, especially because Titan is so adorable and confused, and clearly very sleepy--he tries to focus on me as I work to untangle his licenses from the vent, but it's hard work for him. After just a few seconds I got him untangled, set the vent on the floor, and crashed back into bed.

2. This morning, partly as a result of my night-time adventures and partly as a result of wine, also partly as a result of having no clean pants, I had a hard time waking up. I made the train with a minute to spare. (But hey, I made it.)

3. Also, there was no food in the house so all I had was a piece of bread with butter. This is not enough food, as people who know me in RL know.

4. My stomach was growling all the way through web-ex meeting I hosted this morning, both the teleconference AND the webex people had their heads up their asses and didn't have a record of either meeting I had scheduled a week ago--literally, I have the confirmation email RIGHT HERE, BITCHES, DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T HAVE A RECORD OF IT!--so we started late...NOT THAT I'M STILL BITTER OR ANYTHING.

5. So after an hour and a half of minutae, I'm watching the clock tick by, because the cafeteria closes at 9:30, and they take away the oatmeal, and I've only had a piece of bread this morning, as I think I've mentioned.

6. Finally free after pointless babbling! I run to the cafeteria at 9:31 to see that I already missed the oatmeal for the morning, and lady yelled at me and said, "After 9:30, it's time for soup!" (It was 9:32). I almost yelled, "It's not like the fate of the free world depends on it, lady! Give me my fucking oatmeal!" But then I thought perhaps I should just really eat something instead, so I took the greasy absolute piece of crap omelet that was the only thing they had still available and choked it down.

7. To add injury to insult, I had run the whole way there in stilettos, very tall ones. GIVE ME MY OATMEAL NEXT TIME OR I WILL PUNCH YOU. And you too, B----- telephone operators.

Also, in case anyone was wondering, I will probably not be posting the pictures of the house, since my ex-roommate is moving out and these pictures won't be indicative of the space as it will be in a couple of months. If there's any that are salvagable, I'll see what I can do. Don't hold your breath.