Today, I start a diet
I wasn't intentionally trying to *be* SheWalks.
Really, even though I first fell in love with Blogger because I found SheWalks off Craigslist, and SheWalks' blog happens to be about losing weight...it still wasn't intentional.
But my washer completely stopped working last night with a whole tub full of water with ALL MY WORK CLOTHES in it. And THIS is how the universe repays me for being a good girl and washing my work clothes in preparation for the work week ahead for the first time in MONTHS--really. Yes, I have a really, really high tolerance for dirt.
So I ran around completely discombobulated and tried a bunch of old clothes on, where "old clothes" is defined as "winter dress clothes"...AND NONE OF THEM FIT!
I practically had a nervous breakdown. Edit: I really did have a nervous breakdown.
Because I really, really, like food. First, I'm slightly hypoglycemic, meaning that my body doesn't process food well--I'm like the V8 engine of digestive systems. Very bad fuel efficiency. Most of it comes out as waste. (I know, it's a lovely mental image!) So, like many girls, I've had a completely effed up relationship with food my whole life, but for somewhat different reasons. Food means so much to me, both to my body (if I don't eat every three hours, I'll fall asleep standing up, or worse, faint dead away without warning, pretty much the same thing) and to my mind, since it's essential for my constantly fluctuating blood-sugar levels, and therefore for moods, that it's like a drug--literally, if I'm low on blood sugar, and I eat something--ANYTHING--I'm immediately high--like being on speed.
Second, I...well, I really like food. I was raised on really good food, my parents have always eaten well, and I really like it. Having to eat less of it is about the worst thing I can imagine.
Of course, the problem with hypoglycemia is that you really have to watch your portions--because you have to eat so often, it's very very easy to overeat, not to mention a quick blood sugar fix is always a sugary food, so hypoglycemia turns into Type II Diabetes at the drop of a hat.
I haven't had a problem with that so far--I don't actually like sugar much, so it's easy for me to reach for whole grains or nuts or cheese (protein!) when I need to eat again--but I do have that portion-control problem. (Hey, how did I eat this whole jar of peanut butter?)
and AGAIN, that hasn't been much of an issue until now, because I swam a lot in high school and I had a fast metabolism anyway, and I'm sure people will hate me, but I've been tracking my food consumption on and off for awhile, and most days I eat about 2800-2900 calories.
BUT NO MORE.
The clothes I wear daily all still fit. But I've had an uncomfortable feeling for quite some time that I was getting a little bigger--last summer I was at close to 160 pounds.
NO MORE. I'm putting this all down in black and white because, although it's long and self-absorbed, I really, really AM going on a diet. I'm tired of filling out my clothes quite this much.
So, I changed my coffee drink from my huge sugar-laden and whipped-cream-topped almond mocha to a triple espresso this morning. With a teaspoon of half-and-half.
I kept myself to two string cheeses, a hardboiled egg, and carrots, for breakfast. And some watery coffee. (Why is there no quality control on the office coffee pot?)
Of course, for lunch, I walked into the cafeteria, and I was planning on having a salad, and they had just cooked pizza...
I had once huge slice. Maybe I'll have my salad for a snack.
And since I'm again living at my parents' house (15 more days!) usually I'm force fed at regular intervals (my dad: BE HOME FOR FAMILY DINNER!), but that won't happen this week because he's out of town!
The big question: how long will I have to diet? I don't have a pound goal in mind--I want to fit into all my clothes again. One week? Doable. One month? Yuck. Two months? RUN AWAY!!!
Sigh. Any tips?
5 comments:
Sadly, it comes off about as slowly as it went on. You still have a couple of years before a MAJOR metabolic shift (usually happens from 27-35) so you're lucky to catch it now. I like www.fitday.com, but I've also joined Weight Watcher so that there's accountability to someone other than myself once a week.
Bless you, ladies, both of you, for taking my panicky ramblings seriously. At this point I'm trying to talk myself out of it: do I really CARE about losing weight? All my NORMAL clothes still fit!
I backslid slightly today: I had a huge, sugar-laden mocha, and I had a SANDWICH for lunch, but it was small--a half sandwich, using one piece of normal bread. Lots of mayo, cheese, and corned beef, however...but also tomatoes, lettuce, and orange juice! Really!
And yes, lalala, I'm exercising--part of the reason I had the mocha this morning is because I ALREADY have my exercise clothes waiting for me in the car for kickboxing tonight. And then I might go for a walk with my dog.
(Also, the other reason I had the mocha is because my mother drives me crazy.)
i wouldn't call it a diet. I'd change the way you eat. you are what you eat. to satisfy your sugar cravings-- if you have any-- fruit.. eat lots of fruit.
Seriously, I don't know that you want a diet. I've eaten with you and cooked for you. How about you just make good decisions? Robin and I are in the same place since we eat out more frequently together than she does solo, and I cook good stuff (read: fat laden). So we're exercising, making some good choices, etc. You don't have to do ANYTHING drastic, mind you. The Weight Watcher points system is clever, and you can earn more points to waste on junk food or whatever by exercising and having sex. I think that might be your best shot. Seriously, you say sugar isn't your favorite thing, but you're always raving about your fluffy coffees, aren't you? Maybe you don't eat ice cream and cookies and shit, but you're still getting plenty of sugar. Go buy a case of light Frapucino in bottles if you can stand it. Or something. I'm not gonna tell you to snack on veggies and shit, but if you're gonna have pizza for lunch, at least do yourself the favor of eating something decent (like turkey) for dinner. Without mayo. Or butter.
And then, of course, you're not supposed to eat for like four hours before you go to bed. That's the one I probably stuggle with the most.
I do also eat a ton of vegetables, darling, and one cup of fancy coffee has less sugar in it than an ice cream bar. I usually have two large salads a day plus two pieces of fruit and a glass of cranberry juice--I'm okay on that score. It's lowering the cheese and peanut-butter consumption--not to mention the pasta and the fancy coffee consumption--that's hard. (LOVE YOU, PASTA.)
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