Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Halloween, Being Invisible and Not Looking Back Yet.

Dude! Happy Six-Month Blogging Anniversary to Me!

Actually, I've been blogging much longer than that, but this is my six-month Blogger anniversary.

I've read some of my first posts (I actually read my own blog obsessively) and I have a ton of things to say about past and present, things I've accomplished and things that no longer matter.

But not right now. It has been a very long week. And I'm exhausted.

Instead, the Saga of My Halloween Costume:

At first, I was going to wear vinyl pants, a red ruffled velvet top, and fangs. To be a vampire. This is what I wore senior year, I think, the last time I really dressed up for Halloween. Of course, at the time, the red ruffled velvet top, for $6 at a clearance rack, and drugstore teeth that would NOT stay on, was all I could afford.

This time, I thought I'd wear my blue corset instead--y'all haven't seen it, but it's strapless, and greyish blue brocade, and laces up the front, so there's a lot of cleavage exposed, and lots of "shelf" at the top. I thought maybe with the vinyl pants I could get some sort of Post-Post-Post-Neo Victorian thing going. (Anyone seen The Fifth Element lately? That's what I was going for.)

Then I discovered that the crotch stitching had come out of my vinyl pants, and it's noticeable, so I thought I'd just cut out the entire crotch area and make them chaps. And then I had so many elements--the corset is Victorian, which could also be construed as Western Bordello, the vinyl is fetishist, the chaps are both fetishist AND western, and then with the fangs--what would I be? A visitor from the future: a vampire who became a vampire in the 1880s in a Wild West bordello, and now pilots a fetishist spaceship and so only has access to vinyl, and hails from a world like the Fifth Element? The whole thing seemed sort of Firefly/Serenity, sort of. And it would take too long to explain. So I called myself Gratuitous Skin With Fangs. Seemed to cover everything.

Now: it turns out that the blue brocade corset does not look right with the vinyl, although with big enough hair and eye makeup, not to mention enough boobs, one might be able to get away with anything. AND I've gotten the number of a professional tailor, who might be able to fix the stitching of my vinyl pants, and even create a little more room for me in the sides. (very small waist on vinyl). So now I'm wearing the more traditional red-and-black corset, with straps, and I won't have chaps on, so I'm back to Traditional Vampire. With Fangs.

Any questions?

In fact, I might take to wearing this costume to work, which would avoid the "Ignore Aarwenn" problem. Yes, work sucks balls, and no one listens to the young girl at the table with the quick mind, the quicker mouth, and the shiny long hair. Maybe if I became a ponderous, slow-walking frumpy math nerd, I'd get more respect? The whole thing makes me want to run out, start my own business, and SHOW them. Of course, the only thing I have going for me is a quick mind, a quicker mouth, a huge ego, arrogance, and a good knowledge of business, engineering, and pop culture. It's hard to start a business on that. Not much to quantify. What the hell would my business cards say..."Hire me to fix your image problems. Because I'm cooler than you."?

12 comments:

kiwi said...

technically you dressed up as an elf for halloween two years ago. I think that was a genuine costume, even if it was tossed together. Anything involving spirit gum is official.

However, let me say that I had no idea you had corsets, and I'm horribly disappointed I have missed them. Meanwhile, whatever latex/vinyl/western/future/vampire motif you decide to go with, I'm sure it will be hot and outrageous. Have I mentioned I'm probably working at the porn store on Halloween? Woo hoo.

kt said...

2 years ago simon was pimp jeasus and i was his devil ho. it was hilarious. we might do it again, this time with more bling.

we should become business partners.

oh - and simon loves that firefly show.. i haven't really gotten into it yet though.

Aarwenn said...

We should TOTALLY become business partners. Can we split our time between Seattle and Boulder? Have clients all over the country? I assume we'd consult?

And kiwi, you're right, forgive me, last time I was a vampire was THREE years ago. Am I really that old? Last year I was Bridgette Bardot, although no one really got it. I was just a chick with fishnets and mod eyemakeup to them.

And can I say that working at a porn store on Halloween sounds like something out of a Tim Burton flick? Or maybe Cameron Crowe?

Shananigans said...

Your costume sounds hot! Especially the corset part. You must post pictures. I have yet to come up with a costume idea. I’m gonna be in Vegas running around at a music festival, so I need a combination of colorful outrageousness and comfort. I’ll probably wait till the last minute and just buy a stupid wig and glue-on orange eye lashes or something. Really good Halloween costumes elude me somehow.

T-town Girl said...

I would hire you with that card, that is of course if you WERE cooler than me.
I am trying to convince my boybriend to be the doublemint twins with me. We could get cool green 70's jumpsuits and put our hair in pigtails. He is not quite sure about this yet but he will be.

Linny said...

I'm still trying to think of what I want to be this year...I love Halloween!

Aarwenn said...

T-Town, you're totally invited to be a business partner, too.

Leah said...

Your business cards should totally say that. I love that your costume had a whole back story - I think you should stick with that, when I was 7 I was a bride who died in a car accident on the way to her wedding. Back stories are AWESOME. This year I don't know what to be - Halloween in my fav holiday and I am SO clueless. You better take pictures.

Aarwenn said...

You must have been the coolest 7-year-old in your entire town.

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Nice, you should wear you costume to work. There is no way in hell I'm wearing my costume to work. NO way..it's a wee bit risquey! (? spelling, my brain is fried)

Aarwenn said...

Glitter--I wasn't sure if you were going for: risky, or risque. Either is correct here, although I think you were going for risque, which has sexual connotations.

And wearing my costume to work was totally a joke--there is nothing non-risque about vinyl pants and a too-tight corset with "overflow" at the top.

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