Thursday, October 27, 2005

Want to know your type? Ask an honest friend!

Like, for instance, T-town Girl.

Want to know how this question came up?

Because I met a nice boy while taking an 8-hour composites class yesterday, and we got to talking (okay, I chatted him up, but he didn't need much encouragement) and after an extremely inappropriate-for-work conversation today, he asked me out for coffee!

So yes, I have another First Date.

But moving on, he asked me what my type was (over Work-Controlled Instant Messenger) and I don't really have a type, or couldn't think of one, so I emailed T-town Girl really fast, and this is what she said:

"Geeky, low self esteem, assholes who cover up their insecurities by flaunting a particularly rank from of arrogance."

She's totally right. Although she forgot "alcoholic".

In my defense, not ALL guys I've dated have been like that! Just um, two out of four serious boyfriends. Flings are more likely to be more fun. But the two guys I'm into right now (excluding New First Date) certainly fit that mold. Sigh.

What's a girl to do? Change types? I'm working on that, with New First Date. He doesn't use complete sentences over IM--and also uses shortcuts like u, bc, and oic--and I'm trying not to let that bother me. I feel like I'm letting my elitist nerd side down. But maybe that's a good thing.

And, with thanks to T-town for this inspired typo that I took and ran with, allow me to introduce a new entry for Webster's!

sexpress (v.): 1. Expressing a sentiment having to do with sex, often used as shorthand. I sexpressed my preferences on the third date. He liked the mention of handcuffs. 2. Expressing a sentiment during sex, talking dirty. "Want to learn how to sexpress? Use our handy phrasebook!" 3. Expressing a sentiment USING sex. I didn't know what I should say, so I sexpressed. 4. Talking about something sexual, sometimes accidentally; a freudian slip. I totally sexpressed the other day--instead of saying "How are you?" I said, "Take off your shirt." I'm so embarrassed!

See also: sexpressing, sexpressed, sexpressment (n.)


Tacompton Tiffany said...

sexpress, that's awesome. I totally thought that was some inside thing . . . apparently it was typo . . .

T-town Girl said...

Tiffany, are you even on the same planet as everyone else today? Anyway, I love that this post is not about me but all about me at the same time. Yes I am that self obsessed.

Aarwenn said...

T-town, I knew you would. Because I would. And I have a TRAGIC thing to report: I lost your card! :(


kiwi said...

Is that form instead of from? Speaking of typos.


Well, all I can say is it's not too bad that I never turned out to be your type. Right? RIGHT?

At least not the asshole part. I'll submit to most of the rest of the checklist.

And sexpressions should be a line of dirty greeting cards.

Sexpresso? Surely a girl like you, with friends like yours, can make that stick to something. A coffee date that leads to sex? Sex in a starbucks bathroom? Coffee driven sex? Knock yourselves out.

KR said...

So, did you tell him your 'type'? That would be an interesting reaction, I'm sure! :)
And I love the 'sexpress' thing - I'm definitely going to have to use that one!

ramblin' girl said...

ok, your "type" is exactly what my last ex was like... maybe I need to look for a new type as well!

I think I sexpressed myself well the other night... (that's great!)

Anonymous said...

*grins* it's another quick witty insta-blurb about aarwenn. I STILL think her self description was one of the funnier things I've ever read.


Aarwenn said...

Quatoes--which self-description?

kiwi--I think you've already made sexpresso work. you don't need me when you're rather clever yourself.


Aarwenn said...

Oh, and t-town: I found your card again!

Anonymous said...

Fast talking, hair-flipping, 60 miles per hour sex in (adjective) boots.

I don't quite remember it completely though.

Aarwenn said...

Q, you're dating yourself in how long you've known me--that description was FOREVER ago on my livejournal blog!

I'll have to look that up and reprint it here--I'd forgotten about it.

No, wait, was it an AIM profile?

Anonymous said...

AIM profile. Heh. Yeah I know, I still remember how we met...and still don't remember how I had met your original big.


dewey said...

Hahahaha, a type. When I was moving, my aunt was helping me get some odds & ends I had left at my mom's place. We found a bunch of pictures of ex-boyfriends.

Aunt: "Oh, is that Kevin?"
Me: "No, that's Phil."
Aunt: "Is that Phil too?"
Me: "No, that's Chris."
Aunt: "This, this has to be Kevin."
Me: "No, that's Jim."
Aunt: "Let me guess this one. Jim?"
Me: "No, THAT ONE, is Kevin."

For 15 years, I've been dating the same guy. Over and over and over again. And yet I'm STILL surprised to discover that this time, it's NOT different. *sigh*

Aarwenn said...