Sex In This City

You know over there, to your right, on my profile?

How I talk about ups and downs in this life I call mine?

It's definitely been one of those weeks months.

(For example, I am posting at 9:00 on a Friday night.)

My girlfriends and I are having one of those Sex in the City nights. Not the kind of nights made famous on the HBO show, but a real sex in the city night. Where everyone is single, no one is having actual sex, and everyone is on the phone. Separately. In their own houses.

It starts with LongtimeFriend.

LF: So, what are you doing?

Me: Oh, I'm sitting on the floor in an empty room, reading blogs, on a very small laptop. (I'm not joking, y'all. Said room is my roommate's old room, and it has one of the two activated cable modem outlets, and y'all know I can't live without my internet. So I'm in Old Roommate's old room, stripped bare of stuff, sitting on the floor.)

LF: Hmmm, that sounds exciting.

Me: Yeah. (phone beeps) Oh, that's SouthernBelle, I need to talk to her, I'll call you back.

Note to my readers: SouthernBelle is a woman who is ten years my senior and can party me into the ground and drink me under the table. She is incredible and wild and wonderful. When we go out, we do extremely illegal things and cause EXTREME amounts of trouble. It's unbelieveable that I am not in jail.

SouthernBelle: Hey, whatcha doin'?

Me: Contemplating some week-old pasta. You?

SB: I'm answering some work emails and sending out my resume. (Notice that she is both working for her current job and looking for another one at the same time. Reminds you of the early 90's, doesn't it?)

Me: Oh yeah? What's wrong with the old job?

SB: Bastards shorted me three grand on my last paycheck.

Me: Shit.

SB: Yeah. It's time to move. How's things with you?

Me: Oh, it's going to take the repair shop a month to fix my Jeep, I have no idea how I'm going to live without a car, MaleRoommate got his key today, and that's weird, TheBoy is leaving for Ghana in a month and I have no idea how I feel about that, and my work project drags on and on and it's way behind schedule and I'll probably be Reprimanded for it.

SB: Yeah? What's the damage going to be on your Jeep?

Me: $8800. Which the insurance will cover, so it's just the deductible for me--about $500 or so, plus the ticket, plus possibly renting a loaner from the repair shop.

SB: Damn.

Me: Yeah, I have the money, or almost, it's just that I was saving it for fun things. Like, mods to the Jeep. Not repairs.

SB: Yeah, I've noticed that the more money you make, the more expensive life's surprises are. It's like, in college, when you have a dropped-class fee and it's $50 you think, Damn, how am I going to get that much money? Now that you have big fancy job, wrecked car fees are more like $1000, and you think, Damn, how am I going to get that much money?

Me: Yeah. It's like, the more expensive the shit you own is, the more expensive it is to repair.

SB: Yeah. Now, if the apartment building burned, I'd be real upset--Motherfucker! I bought that shit!

Me: Yeah. Listen, I gotta call Longtime Friend back. Good talking to you.

SB: You too, have a good night.

Me: Hi, LF.

LF: Hey. So, whatcha doing now?

Me: Choking down some cold week-old pasta. I just tossed half of it out, it's disgusting. You?

LF: Yeah, I'm contemplating making food. I know I should eat, but I can't bring myself to waste the energy.

Me: That's what I ate the pasta even though it was gross.

LF: Yeah, I have a ton of food ingredients at home, but I might just go to Fancy Grocery Store and buy something.

Me: Yeah. Now I'm contemplating opening a bottle of wine.

LF: Oh yeah? Something good?

Me: No, it's a $4 bottle of Zin.

LF: Yeah. I should go and finish up some schoolwork.

Me: Yeah. Talk to you later.

LF: See ya.

Notice, in all this conversation, no one once tried to make plans to get together. We're all standing in our kitchens, on the phone with each other, doing jack shit. I thought about trying to make plans, and then I thought, do I really want to? And the answer is no.

See how exciting?

Google is letting me down

My gmail is really screwy. And everyone should try http://www.google.com and see what you get. I was surprised. I thought it was the drugs, but really it's just Google. When Google and Starbucks take over the earth, I just hope they'll remember me as a loyal worshipper and allow me a small farm.

Good Things DO Happen

Nice things about today, and this weekend:

Lovely weather today.

I'm dressed well. AND wearing eye makeup! Tomorrow's goal: tinted moisturizer.

Indulged myself with food--hot cup of coffee and oatmeal for breakfast, a big ol' sandwich for lunch.

Partying with my engineers on Friday was even more a complete spectacle of debauchery than I could have guessed. It had been quite awhile since any of us got out--and we made up for it. :) Very dirty deeds were performed.

The doggies got along great on Thursday. And Roommate complimented me on how well I was holding together after The Accident. He expressed enthusiasm about moving in and, in general, made me feel like a trooper and a survivor. All good things.

Saturday, MidwestEngineer called to ask if I was okay--he said I had seemed a little quiet at the Howl and wanted to make sure everything was all right. (Cue: AWWWWWWWWW!)

Today, as I was chatting to JadedEngineer, I mentioned my accident, and he reiterated Roommate's opinion--"Wow, you didn't say a word at the Howl. You seem to be handling it well." I thanked him, and joking attributed my inner strength to the power of my new jeans. His response: "Um, yeah, speaking of jeans, you looked great on Friday. Have you lost weight?"

HELL YEAH I HAVE!

And finally, this exchange between a colleague of mine and I about a frustrating meeting this morning:

Me: "Thank you for being an excellent meeting moderator. As authoritative as I try to be, I feel awfully helpless, sometimes; it's hard to get people (and by "people", I mean "TechGuy") twice my age to take me seriously. You really made the meeting work today--thank you so much."

Her: "You're welcome and do an excellent job, I just had to get going today!
The older guys sometimes don't take us so seriously, but eventually they will learn ;)"

Me: "You give me hope. :)"

Her: "Just hang in there...you'll probably end up getting promoted right past him! (It's always fun to wave on the way by....)"

Encouraging words for all of us!

My car is still impounded, and I am sick

And I have leftover osso buco on my stove. I should probably freeze it--and would, but is it still good? How do I know? It's less than 24 hours old...but it's been sitting out in warmish weather all that time.

I have to get my car out of impound 120 hours from the time of the accident--roughly five days and five hours. It was put into impound on Thursday at 7--so I can retrieve it by Tuesday at midnight. I think this is the insurance claims adjuster's job, but I'm not really sure. He's supposed to call me today by 1:00 pm at the latest. The point is, if it's not taken from impound, it'll go up for auction. And that would suck. (Actually, that's an understatement--this is the thing that CANNOT HAPPEN.)

Still sick over here. Lost my voice two nights in a row. But I did prove to TheBoy I could cook, which is important--I had never cooked for him before. It's funny that all his friends were excited that I could cook, like, "HEY! She can COOK!" I mean, did they think I ate out three meals a day before this? Living by oneself implies a certain level of cooking achievement, in my mind. It's true that I'm famous for being a health nut, and enjoying things that no sane human would--i.e., spinach straight from a bag, like a rabbit; nutritional yeast, juice with absolutely NO added sugar, wheat germ, kefir, really thick green juice with occasional lumps, apple cider vinegar tonics, organic everything, whole-wheat bread, tofu, baked tofu, plain organic active-culture yogurt, etc, etc...so I think TheBoy was a little scared I'd cook some combination of yeast and green juice.

Like I don't know the difference between personal food and company food!

Still sick. I love you, green tea. Also, this house is out of paper towels and toilet paper, and the trash needs to be taken out.

I am the biggest failure ever

It's true. I am.

1) Yesterday, I took a sick day from work. Because I WAS sick. And yet I ALSO needed new jeans. Because the ones I had been wearing had gigantic crotch holes. So I went to the Tacoma Farmer's Market, for breakfast, which was awesome, and then I came home, put my flowers in water, took Dayquil, and took off to the Supermall. I bought tons of jeans, made a date to see BestFriend and try on all the jeans for her enjoyment, and drove back home. On the way back home, I took a left, apparently failed to see a motorcycle, and he crashed directly into me on the driver's side door.

I got out of the car. I thought he was dead. I didn't know WHAT to do. Millions of people stopped--it was rush hour, after all--and I called 911 and the police showed up and we had all kinds of excitement. I was in total shock. The motorcyclist turned out to be fine--he had a broken shoulder--and they towed my car off to the impound and from now on it's just a money issue, but for awhile they were holding the scene in case it became a crime scene, because if the motorcyclist died...well, I didn't want to think about it. But then it WOULD be a crime scene and they'd have to re-investigate the whole thing. So that didn't happen, which is good.

Other good things: I had just reinstated my insurance (a week ago), so I'm insured. My premiums will go up, but hey--this is why I HAVE insurance, right? It's unlikely that the car will be totalled--it's just a motorcycle, so the impact wasn't anything like a car would have been. From now on it's just a money issue and I can't do anything about it. Except ride around with my mother.

2) B----- has this time system, right? You have to enter your time in, and every Thursday, when the pay period ends, you have to sign your weekly time. It seems like a small thing, but it's not--my manager gets his hand slapped every time I forget, and he starts to get mad. After all the mess yesterday, I forgot to input my time, and he just sent me an email: "Next time you forget, disciplinary action will be taken." Just what I need--to be fired.

3) Also yesterday, during my day of hooky, TheBoy was also home and doing nothing. I could have called him, but didn't think about it. I assumed he'd be working, and besides, I had called him the night before and he hadn't called back yet. And then when I crashed, I called both LongtimeFriend and BestFriend before I called him. By the time I called him, he was on the phone with another important call, and he couldn't answer--and then he had to be at work. By the time he had time to come over and comfort me, New Roommate was already there, making sure the doggies got along--they do! They play really well together!--so he was doubly frustrated from sweeping me off my feet.

Apparently now he's mad that I didn't call him first, before anyone else---"This is what I'm here for, babe," he said--and mad that I didn't call him yesterday when I was around town doing nothing. Of course, if I had called him, I probably wouldn't be in this predicament, but what are you gonna do. Everything turned out okay--he cuddled me for a long time until I fell asleep. But he's right--I purposely didn't call him first because I was worried he was going to be judgemental and worried he would be mad at me for being stupid and, and, and.

Apparently this week I just can't win.

Exciting Things I Did Today

Warning: This post is rather bland. Feel free to skip.

1) Talked to a CEO of a company that makes a really great software tool--and may give him the hook-up to my alma mater to create a relationship there. Which would make me feel like the Omnipotent Business Woman that I one day hope to be.

2) Met a really excellent woman who works for Large Defense Aerospace Company, who has become a role model. She is 45, looks 35, and HOLDS HER OWN in a roomful of men--she happily uses both her power bootay (which she dresses in form fitting, but never too-tight suit skirts) and her power intellect; she is incredible. When she speaks, everyone listens.

3) Ran into Cute Tacoma Engineer and had a nice long walk/talk. He was wandering, I was going somewhere, so he just walked me to where I was going. We joked around and enjoyed each other. A bright spot in a long day.

4) In my continuing tour of B----- women's bathrooms, I found a gigantic one, as big as the men's rooms, and it CONTAINS A COUCH! I can take a NAP! Even when I don't drive!

5) Ate really well--covered nine superfoods and got lots of water. This was partly due to me feeling awful and trying to ward off the incoming sickness until Friday--if I can. I may not even have time to get sick then. Bleah.

But still: happy day!

Oh My Gosh!

I haven't posted in five days! What have I been thinking of?

Well, I've been exhausted, and now I think I'm coming down with something--but I'm trying to hang on until Friday so I can work from home that day. There's no fun in not having to come into work on Thursday--Friday is the day to stay home! If, of course, I can make it until then.

Nice things have happened to me--I've been granted "regular" status at my favorite kickboxing class (you know what I'm saying--it's not like they give out prizes, but I can feel the attitude difference) so I'm beginning to bond with the instructor and the other regulars, I've lost three more pounds according to this morning, and last night TheBoy cooked a fantastic dinner for his mother and invited me! And I love his mom, so I'm always happy to see her, and even better, she was feeling me out on the possibility of scheduling a trip, WITH HER, to go see TheBoy in Ghana! If that's not flattering, I don't know what is.

AND after a long hard couple of weeks--almost a month of long hard weeks, actually--it's PARTY TIME! A bunch of young engineers and I are on our way to cause large amounts of trouble at Howl At The Moon on Friday. There's all kinds of drama going on, and I'm at some of the center of it. It's going to be AWESOME!

Due to Popular Demand

I was going to talk about all this in the comments section of the previous post, but who really checks the comments daily anyway?

So! Roommate FAQ gets a whole post to itself! (Himself?) Anyway, he should feel pretty damn special, because I never did this for Monica. :)

Name: Roommate
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Status: Single
Orientation: Straight
Hot or Not Scale Rating: 5. (Hey, the truth hurts, but honesty to IIFs is the best policy!)

Does he have a nice car? You bet--bright red Ford F150, with a very nice lockable stainless steel tool box in the back.

Yeah, but does he have pets? Damn skippy! He has a two-year-old German Shepherd Mix! Her name is Sascha and she's only 45 pounds to Titan's 70. They *shouldn't* have dominance issues.

*Shouldn't*? Haven't they met yet? No. Of course, Roommate staying as my roommate will be dependent on this unknown.

Has he just moved out of his parents house? No. (Whew.)
Has he ever lived with strangers before? No. (Dangerous.)
Has he ever lived with a non-related girl before? No. (Danger, Will Robinson!

Oh my god! What the house? What about the kitchen? What about THE BATHROOM? Will he object to tampons and other Things That Must Not Be Named? Are you resigned to living in squalor? Hey, if you read my Craigslist ad, you know I'm not Mr. Clean myself, and he said something that sold me: when I was showing him the bathroom, I said, "Sorry about the clutter, I'm a product whore." He looks at me and says, "I was raised by my mom and three older sisters. You've got nothing on them. I can take whatever feminine stuff you can throw at me."

Now he sounds perfect. Aren't you single now? Quick answer: No.

Yeah, right. Hey, if anyone tells TheBoy that I've been going around saying I'm single, fur will fly.

Okay, but assuming I will never meet TheBoy? Well, the official, totally non-official and down-low stance is that I'm not closing myself off to any possibilities.

And I revealed my profile on match.com and am emailing three guys right now AND my stylist just called and set me up.

Ummm...we're going to get those stories soon, right? Maybe. I'm trying to wait until I really AM single.

Forget all of this factual smokescreen. Is this a recipe for disaster or what? Well, because it's me, we have to assume that, yes, it's clearly a recipe for disaster. HOWEVER. Because of circumstances beyond my control--the Hot or Not rating, and the general way in which Roommate and I click, and believe me, I was on the lookout--it has the highest probability of not being a disaster that I can personally assure.

Did I get everyone?

And, TWAM, I saw that Criagslist post too, and I thought of it constantly as I was interviewing the poor guy. :)

New Profile!

Just thought I'd point it out. I do have a new roommate, and he seems pretty damn cool.

Yes, of COURSE I'll update you when it all goes to hell in two months. :)

Last Days + Border-Crossing Fat

These really are the last days, folks.

First, the link to the article and short movie that I posted before. Rather disturbing, yes? Honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

1. From the Stranger: "First up is a ridiculous tragedy from Oklahoma, where a 63-year-old man in the town of Hominy is facing murder charges after allegedly gunning down 26-year-old waitress in a local diner in broad daylight. According to the Editor & Publisher report, the motive for the alleged murder is believed to be a letter written by the waitress to the Hominy News Progress, suggesting the man was responsible for some local vandalism. Surreal fact: The Hominy News Progress had recently honored the alleged murderer as Citizen of the Year. Tragic fact: The waitness was 11 weeks pregnant."

2. Then there's the Yahoo news report about the Florida dad who allegedly beat his toddler son to death to "prevent him from being gay."

3. Think that's disturbing? What would you think if you knew that The Onion had already done this story? Is it even more disturbing that The Onion showed more restraint than real life did?

4. Bombings in Egypt, the lead singer of Bad Beat Revue falls on his head during a leap from stage and dies, hatred of Muslims, more hatred of Muslims, oh yeah, and a dastardly plot involving cocaine. Half of the Seattle music scene would be dead.

5. Also politics is all over the place, no one is safe, and the world keeps getting worse and worse, and am I crazy that I link this feeling of Last Days to the possibility of dementors breeding?

But in a happier time, there's also talk about fat. See, T has this habit of, when eating, saying, "That'll go right to the thighs," or "Hello, spare tire." BestFriend asked her today, 'Do you have discussions with these different foods so that you know where they will end up? Like an immigration officer: "Are you going to stay near the stomach (the love handles is a nice area) or were you thinking of settling down closer to the thighs? Or maybe down in the ass?" Are there ethnic districts? Does Thai food always congregate in the spare tire area?'

And T's excellent reply:

"Yes, it is similar to crossing the border at Mexico. Fish generally swims as far upstream as possible (finally settling down around the thighs), ethnic foods go straight for the spare tire (as it is a transitional area, almost like a tent city that has just shown up without any sort of authority or jurisdiction, but is growing at an alarming rate), then there are the illegal border crossers such as maple bars that immigration won't let through, but for some reason seem to find themselves inside anyway - those, my friends, generally begin the downward spiral toward a double chin, settling right along the border, and soon you start to see signs along the freeway depicting mommy and child maple bars running to the freedom that is Southern California (my double chin), and worst of all is the grease pit burger with extra cheese, bacon, french fries, and fat (for good measure)...those babies head for the homeland, you know what I'm talking about, that thing that follows you around catching the eyes of black men of all ages spurring nicknames such as shelf-booty - the ass."

Could it be better? I don't think so.

This is sort of shocking

The Stranger has really angry editors.

Also, I'm going completely insane

I picked up my cell phone last night and dialed nine to get an outside line. I couldn't figure out why my call didn't work. I did it again, carefully dialing 9 first to get that outside line.

When I picked up my office phone this morning to listen to my messages, I tapped a key on the computer keyboard to choose 1 for the menu. I was surprised when the menu kept reciting options. I hit the keyboard "1" again, then realized what I was doing and almost ran screaming out of the office.

Also this morning I was driving to work, got off at Federal Way to get gas because I had had no time to get some the night before, and after I got gas I pulled back on the freeway again. It wasn't until I saw that road sign by the Port of Tacoma that says "University of Washington, Take Exit 133" that I realized I had GONE THE WRONG WAY for about 5 miles. That's right. I pulled out of the gas station and got on the freeway going SOUTH, back towards HOME, as opposed to continuing to go NORTH, where MY JOB IS.

UPDATE: Also, I have worn the same pair of pants three days this week. And it's not like they're black; they're light gray, folks. Easily recognizeable, curse them. But they're the only clean pair I have! (Note: Victoria's Secret clothes shipment is in the mail. WOO!)

It is not my day

1. This morning about 1 am, I'm jolted awake in a panic by a loud, metallic, CRASH somewhere in my house. My first thought is, of course, OHmygod someone's trying to break in! I spring out of bed, completely nude. (Hey, I went to bed with a head full of wine, okay?) I can't see anything, but the moon is out and after a second my eyes adjust. I creep out of my room, thinking, Why aren't the pets going crazy? Then I see it, or rather, him, poor guy. Titan is standing in front of me with something large and vaguely rectangular HANGING from his collar! I get up close and I discover that the poor dog fell asleep on top of the vent, as usual, but the licenses and things on his collar chose this night to slip through the actual vents and then turn sideways, locking the vent to his collar, so that when he went to stand up, he took the whole vent with him!

Once I discover this, I have a very hard time not laughing, especially because Titan is so adorable and confused, and clearly very sleepy--he tries to focus on me as I work to untangle his licenses from the vent, but it's hard work for him. After just a few seconds I got him untangled, set the vent on the floor, and crashed back into bed.

2. This morning, partly as a result of my night-time adventures and partly as a result of wine, also partly as a result of having no clean pants, I had a hard time waking up. I made the train with a minute to spare. (But hey, I made it.)

3. Also, there was no food in the house so all I had was a piece of bread with butter. This is not enough food, as people who know me in RL know.

4. My stomach was growling all the way through web-ex meeting I hosted this morning, both the teleconference AND the webex people had their heads up their asses and didn't have a record of either meeting I had scheduled a week ago--literally, I have the confirmation email RIGHT HERE, BITCHES, DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T HAVE A RECORD OF IT!--so we started late...NOT THAT I'M STILL BITTER OR ANYTHING.

5. So after an hour and a half of minutae, I'm watching the clock tick by, because the cafeteria closes at 9:30, and they take away the oatmeal, and I've only had a piece of bread this morning, as I think I've mentioned.

6. Finally free after pointless babbling! I run to the cafeteria at 9:31 to see that I already missed the oatmeal for the morning, and lady yelled at me and said, "After 9:30, it's time for soup!" (It was 9:32). I almost yelled, "It's not like the fate of the free world depends on it, lady! Give me my fucking oatmeal!" But then I thought perhaps I should just really eat something instead, so I took the greasy absolute piece of crap omelet that was the only thing they had still available and choked it down.

7. To add injury to insult, I had run the whole way there in stilettos, very tall ones. GIVE ME MY OATMEAL NEXT TIME OR I WILL PUNCH YOU. And you too, B----- telephone operators.

Also, in case anyone was wondering, I will probably not be posting the pictures of the house, since my ex-roommate is moving out and these pictures won't be indicative of the space as it will be in a couple of months. If there's any that are salvagable, I'll see what I can do. Don't hold your breath.

So, last night, the bomb dropped

And the result is this Craigslist ad.

Argh, argh, argh

It's awful how much I'm focused on my own weight, now that I'm trying to change it. A sample of my mental dialogue this morning:

I got to see my niece this weekend! That was great!

I've gained two pounds.

I got to read Harry Potter! That was great!

But I've gained two pounds.

I got to watch movies with my boyfriend and drink wine and go to a "couples" barbeque!

And thanks to that, I've GAINED TWO POUNDS.

Man, I'm hungry!

DON'T EAT NOW, BITCH, YOU'VE GAINED TWO POUNDS!

See what I mean? Not healthy. Margaret Cho said it best: "When you diet, the first thing you lose is brain mass." Although she, too, is much skinnier than she used to be. Traitor.

Coffee always helps. Get your free sample of Doubleshot here! Many, many thanks to The World Against Me for making my day.

I can't summarize

So, I haven't posted in several days, so I have a lot of events to catch everyone (all two people who read my blog) up on, I have news that should seem really important to me but that I can't seem to get excited about, AND I have PICTURES OF MY DECORATED HOUSE!

How do I put all this in one post without being boring? Will being currently over-caffeinated and underfed help or hinder? Film at eleven. And it might be eleven before this post is over. Everyone (all two of you) all comfy? Got some coffee? Got some Jameson's in that coffee? Got nachos? Here we go:

Possibly Important News First

After months and months (no exaggeration, at least six months, or most of our relationship) of uncertainty, TheBoy has his Peace Corps assignment. What? You didn't know TheBoy was leaving for the Peace Corps? The story is too long and boring to tell, so here's a synopsis (Update: This is totally not a synopsis. Skip down to the bottom for the pithy statement.). TheBoy and I were friends for years, he made several efforts to date me, I refused, about a year ago he tried again and I went for it, knowing that he was Leaving For The Peace Corps *soon* and even if it went badly, I wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath for long. Not to mention I'm a commitphobe in the first place, so the idea of a relationship with a time limit was very attractive. Yes, I'm insane.

Still with me? We started dating seriously in November, and in February I moved to Seattle. I thought about breaking up then--we barely saw each other, and surely I should start dating guys in Seattle, right? As is obvious now, I decided to stay with TheBoy, because, gee, I really liked him. Then I became completely isolated and depressed in Seattle, and soon went from thinking about breaking up to depending on TheBoy for oxygen. I was obsessed. I was short on cash, short on friends, and completely isolated. No longer did I want TheBoy to leave for the Peace Corps. In fact, I wanted him to stay, and if he wouldn't, I wanted to go with him. I had been at B----- for about one month at this time, and I was ready to cut and run.

It was at about this time that the Peace Corps gave him a choice of assignments: he could leave in September, or he could leave in January 06. It seemed more likely that he would leave in January 06. I breathed easier. Then on Easter, in front of his entire family, whom I was meeting for the first time, he dropped the bomb: he had decided to leave in September.

I was devestated. I thought he was running away from the relationship and from me, and it wasn't helped by the fact that I had been so clingy and dependent on him recently that he would have had every right to do so.

Fast forward to a month ago. We worked through that okay, especially after he missed a few deadlines (whoops!) and I backed off a great deal from the relationship. It seemed like we were fine and now he would leave in January, like he had originally planned. Okay. At this point, I was starting to get antsy--I couldn't see him much, I had moved back here to Tacoma, but now I was at the gym a lot and enjoying my new house and going out with a ton of bachelors from B----- every weekend, and I was seriously thinking about breaking up again. I broached this to him and he put his foot down--he loved me, the best part of his life was being with me, and he was not going to let that go lightly. After a night of thinking, I agreed that I still, after everything, enjoyed being with him more than anyone else, but in my head I was still thinking, Will I still feel that way through January? Can I really go through the entire holiday season with him, knowing he's about to leave?

Those questions were decided for me. Yesterday, TheBoy got his Peace Corps assignment: he's being sent to Ghana, and he leaves 9/23--two months from yesterday.

Although it's hard to put into a pithy statement, examining our history like this has made me better understand why I didn't immediately burst into tears when I heard the news, which surprised him--he'd been expecting major waterworks and screaming, and possibly being dumped. Of course, it's clear from reading the above that I have come to terms with everything already--it's not like I haven't had time. He's leaving, it's something he has to do, we're breaking up then, (possibly before) which is something I have to do, and we were both blessed by our time together. May he forever be blessed for pursuing me until I gave in, because my life has been incredibly enriched by his love. And no, we're not breaking up right away; if I had my way, we wouldn't even talk about it--we'd say goodbye at the airport and go our separate ways. The point is, nothing needs to be said. And that's a wonderful feeling.

Whoops, that was supposed to be a synopsis. Guess I got carried away. And in case that's too long, here's my best attempt at a pithy statement: We were great friends for 8 years and great lovers for almost a year. And you don't want to give that up lightly.

I've changed my mind: the picture post will be separate, but equal. (Ha.) On a side note, TheBoy and I watched Sideways last night and drank Pinot Noir, and it was fantastic, both the movie and the wine. Everyone, go see it!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Argh.

So, not only has my weight stablized, but it's crept back UP. Well, not really--it's now just a pound lighter than the post where I said I'd lost eight pounds. Humph. I should have taken BestFriend's advice--she said, "Your roommate may have healthier advice, but if I were you I'd just take the money and run." But I didn't. Thinking I was in the clear and that nothing could stop me, I indulged in pizza and iced vanilla lattes, and before I knew it (i.e., in one day), I was back up to where I was. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm building muscle, not putting on pounds of pizza and vanilla fat, but I think we all know that's ridiculous.

On that note, though, I have three questions:

1) Should I have some oatmeal to tide me over this morning, and then have a late lunch, as I'm used to?

2) Why doesn't Starbucks include the nutritional information of their plain crossaints? (Yes, I had one today. I was in a huge hurry. So sue me.)

3) How did I entirely miss the appointment of Attorney General Gonzalez?

Baffling, I tell you.

Stressed Out and Banged Up

So, I'm not losing weight too fast--me weighing 140 pounds yesterday morning was just a fluke of a long weekend. I weighed 142 this morning and that's pretty healthy. I repeat, I am not losing weight "too fast"--I do not need to be shot.

Also I am very tired of taking care of Monica's pets, and it's only been one day. Monica is an elementary school music teacher. She is, possibly, the least dominant person I know. Her pets run roughshod over her--although I don't think cats can possibly be dominated anyway, because they're too ignorant or too apathetic to learn cause and effect. (If I do this, she'll yell at me--therefore I won't do this anymore. Right.) Dogs, at least, react when you yell. But her dog doesn't even react much--except to hunker down and look as small as possible, and lose all brain functions. This is okay, although I'd prefer less of a "fear turns me to jelly" attitude, but what's worse it that I am entirely unused to the idea of a dog that doesn't come when you call it! At the very LEAST this dog should come when I call her in the house. Titan comes running when I call in the house because he's hoping he might get fed. Katie won't even come in the house, and she hates to go outside, which also frustrates me because Titan ALWAYS wants to go out, and I'm annoyed having to spend my time coaxing Katie to go OUTSIDE, as in, a place that dogs should naturally want to go. It seems to me like she's too stupid to act on her natural bodily functions, which really makes me surprised that she remembers to breathe.

Wow, I'm in a really, really, bitchy mood. This is partly because yesterday, when I was coaxing Katie to go outside, and I was bending down to pet her, Titan tried to stick his head in to get petted, only he was running a little too fast to stop and...
WHAM. Head butted me in my eye so hard that I fell down and saw stars, and immediately started to bawl, much like I can imagine Kristy did when she ran full-tilt into the wall. Picture this for a second: I've just come home and changed into a little denim skirt, but I'm still in my work clothes on top. I'm laying out full on my back on my dirty concrete patio and howling to beat the band. Katie is standing there, still stubborn, and taking every opportunity she can to sneak back into the house without peeing, so I'm alternating bawling and yelling at her, which sounds sort of like this:

"BOO-HOO HOO, OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH THIS HURTS--KATIE, COME BACK HERE! COME, YOU STUPID DOG! COME!" (Katie doesn't respond to "come", of course, so I have to run up and drag her back into the yard.) "BOO HOO HOO, OW, BOO HOO," (softer, trying a different approach,) "Katie, come on, girl! Who's a good girl?" Titan, who had originally skedaddled when I started yelling, is attracted by my soft tones and comes running over, so then I have to go back to shouting, "NO, TITAN! LIE DOWN!" "BOO HOO, I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN!" "It's okay, Katie, who's a good girl?" "NO, TITAN, NOT YOU! LIE DOWN!" "BOO-HOO-HOO!"

And so forth. I swear to you I almost beat them all into a bloody pulp and then opened the back gate, hoping that they'd take off for parts unknown and I'd never have to see any pets again ever. I refrained, called my mother (always a good choice) who tried to calm me down over the phone, and eventually I fed the dogs outside and shut them out there for a few minutes, let Figaro out to run around the house (the cat, who's a nonstop yowler, often making it difficult for me to hear my mother over me crying and Figaro yowling), weighed myself about 5 times, opened the refrigerator door 14 times, paced around the house 11 times, and chugged a glass of wine with three aspirin, and then hung up with my mother, left the dogs outside, left Figaro loose in the house, and ran out to my car to make my tutoring appointment, because everything above happened in the space of fifteen minutes. And my life went on--I had to be somewhere.

Side note: the wine and aspirin kicked in and I had just been hit hard in the head, and unsurprisingly enough, it was very hard to tutor--I didn't have a single neuron firing in the right order, and I don't think the Diet Red Bull I was drinking helped at all.

But on the plus side, it did make it VERY hard to go to sleep later. Going to sleep at midnight and waking up at 4:30 is just not healthy.

Please don't shoot me!

So, the last post? In which I said I lost weight? July 12th.

Since then, I have lost an additional 5 pounds. Yes. Five Pounds. In six days.

According to my roommate, The Running Coach, that's too fast.

Really, I'm almost done posting...

My new hero: Opinionista.

And her post today is, of course, about not being judgmental, which I have a VERY hard time doing myself--Girls of the Blogosphere, it is really hard for me to not rant and rave about why girls sell themselves short. To all of you, separately. And now I'm happy that I didn't do so, because it would have been a waste of my time. Opinionista puts it best.