Sunday, March 12, 2006

My Knee Makes My Dog Snore

Note: It's amazing what a wrecked knee will affect. I had to trade cars with my MOTHER and have been driving the SOCCER MOM VAN for a week. Not good for my love life. Nor are the Celine Dion CDs in the Mom Van. I couldn't walk my dog faster than a crawl, I couldn't drive my own (manual) CAR, I couldn't ski, I couldn't dance.

Okay, so I'm female. So yes, I naturally care about how I look. And yes, my weight plays a big part of that. And yes, I still care about my weight, but...

ALL I CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW IS BEING ABLE TO USE MY KNEE AGAIN.

For those of you who didn't read the Whistler post closely enough, I wrenched my knee skiing at Whistler on the first run of the first day. Of course, I skiied on it all weekend anyway, going off jumps and tearing it up on the dance floor and everything. And then I went to Florida. And THEN I got my knee checked out.

Well, the news is, there is no news. Bones and ligaments are fine. I'll have to get an MRI to see what's really wrong with it. The doctor gave me a knee stabilizer, which helped, as I have now worn it for slightly more than a week and felt well enough today to Go Hiking with Dog and A Boy and His Dog, which was awesome. We walked farther than we meant to, so by the end of the four-mile hike I was favoring my knee again, but I have the stabilizer on now and feel better. Titan is totally exhausted and snoring away.

The Point Of This Story: No matter what your weight or physical shape, if you suddenly break yourself and cannot be active for a week, you will want nothing more than for your legs to work again.

Today I hiked. And that is a beautiful thing.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Things I Need:

And I really, really need it.

In other news, I'M MOVING! On the FIRST! OF APRIL! So, so soon.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Gratuitous Tongue Shot

Happy Three-Month Belated Twenty-Fifth Birthday to Me!



Much love to my girl Bri for taking this shot.

This up-close-and-personal look at my teeth makes me sad I wasn't wearing my fangs. Also: long hair!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Raise Up a Girl in the Way She Should Go

Okay, so I didn't talk much about it on this blog. But for several months now, I've been involved with some other new hires from the Society of Women Engineers (SWE), and we've been trying to plan SWE's Shadow a Female Engineer Day, which happened two weeks ago, Wednesday, Feb. 22, during National Engineers Week.

After several Saturday morning meetings, in which I got up and fueled myself and drove to Seattle or Olympia to present or put together packets, not to mention several evenings spent coordinating travel options, the day finally happened, and we (the council that planned it) have gotten some thank you notes, etc, etc, and it was good.

So I was pleased to discover that Google celebrated Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day, and even blogged about it, because I TOTALLY sent some girls to Google for SWE's Event! If you read the blog post, and squint really hard, and sort of turn your head to the left, I'm mentioned!

No, not really. But they mention their site in Kirkland. And I sent girls to Kirkland for that event. And that is a wonderful thing.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Wonderful World of Bargain Shopping

AA Advantage, MyPoints, and Company Discounts, oh my!

It is downright confusing, I tell you, trying to get the best deal. I am not a bargain shopper by nature. You'd think I would be, with a mother who's half Scottish and who supported our family of three on just her salary while my dad chased his dreams for the entire time I lived at home, but you'd be wrong. My mother's philosophy was: If you need it, buy it. If you don't need it, a coupon isn't going to help. It's still money you shouldn't spend.

And she's right, of course. That's not to say she doesn't try to get the best deal--she has charge cards at all her favorite stores because a) she has self-control, unlike me, and b) she saves money at them. She and Nordstrom, in particular, have had a long and loving relationship. (Possibly better than her marriage. Hi, mom!) But she never clipped coupons. She had a deep understanding of the fact that her hourly rate paid her more money than she could save while clipping coupons.

Enter: Me. Hi, guys! I'm a young woman on my own, now, and at 25, my attitudes about money and entitlement are all wrapped up in how my mama raised me and how much money I have and my mama's view of my FATHER'S relationship with money (none too good) and my Scottish background plus my attitude towards electronics and a sense of disdain over saving pennies and yet at the same time a basic OCD approach to life, which would suggest that really, I LOVE details about saving money and coupons and the like. Also throw in: a metalook at What's Important To Me In Life, as in, (hypothetically speaking) should I buy new sheets and a new duvet cover because I have a huge freakin' tear in mine and I'm a Successful Engineer, Dammit, or should I use my mama's hand-me-downs and save my money for not only Tickets to Ghana and Pittsburgh, but also Eurail passes and the like in the future?

(Full Disclosure: I bought the sheets.)

Because, if I can afford both Bedding AND Tickets right now (thank you, Bonus!) then maybe I SHOULD go ahead and buy sheets and a duvet cover and maybe an iPod converter for my car radio, right? Because I'm a Successful Engineer, Dammit, and why the hell should I at THIS point in my life sleep on hand-me-down sheets or listen to our crappy local music stations?

(Full disclosure: I'm still sleeping on a futon and I can't wake up in time to ever remember my iPod anyway.)

Do the right purchases lead to a better lifestyle (better sleep, more time in the morning, more time to enjoy my music)? Or do all purchases simply boost the economy and allow us to chase the dream while simultaneously making sure we never attain the dream?

It's like going to Trader Joe's and maybe, hypothetically, buying $110 worth of stuff so that I wouldn't Waste Money On Lunch at work. Have I, in point of fact, just wasted my money twice because all that will go to waste and I'll end up buying money because I can't wake up on time to make lunch because I'm still sleeping on a futon and will never listen to my iPod?

So since I KNOW that my purchases are really just a feeble attempt to Live the Dream while simultaneously trying to save money to Actually Travel, I might as well try to save money where I can, right?

And here we come around full circle to Bargain Shopping.

If I have a MyPoints account, and I buy things on there and get points back to redeem at other stores (like Starbucks, hooray!), is that better than buying everything through my American Airlines account and earning miles? Or what about buying things through the company discount site and just saving money that I can use at my disposal?

Welcome to my first forays into Bargain Shopping. With no map, no guidance, and a hunger for such stuff as dreams are made on, not to mention a need to quote Shakespeare, I go once more into the breach.

Things I Have Learned, So Far:

1. Most Corporate Discounts suck. My corporate discount at B&N, for example, is 5%. You could get more bang for the buck earning miles instead.

2. So far, my experience with MyPoints has not been great, but it's very little effort to click the links and it takes about three months to earn a $10 Starbucks gift card.

3. Note: It would be faster and better to just get a Starbucks Visa, except that I'm probably not allowed one with my credit.

4. It would be even better to buy stock in Starbucks and get dividends if I like them so much.

5. And if I buy other things through MyPoints in order to get points, then that just encourages me to spend MORE money on consumer stuff I really don't need!

6. Much better to earn miles!

7. So if I'm in MyPoints just for the Starbucks cards, I'm wasting my time.

8. Buy everything from AA Advantage in the future.

The End.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Extreme Sleep Deprivation

This "traveling" thing can really make you tired.

I'd list my schedule for the past few days, but that would be boring. Let's put it this way: I've gotten twelve hours of sleep in three nights. I'm so sleep-deprived that I'm beginning to see dead people.

Just last week I thought to myself, "Self, there's no point in keeping a blog if no one reads it." So I gave my blog address out to a ton of people all at once by putting it in my gmail signature. Yeah, that was a retarded idea. Let's just say that the address is now OFF my signature. (Note to people who got the address in this method and now read this blog: no, of COURSE I wasn't talking about you!)

Apparently money can't buy happiness if you don't have enough of it. (Either.) I really want to move to Seattle. And I'm getting nowhere. No one from Craigslist or anywhere is returning my emails or calls. I've never had such bad housing luck. It's driving me crazy, and maybe I don't want to move after all, okay? Sour grapes what?

Of course, since I rushed into the last two housing decisions I made and therefore my life was awfully rough for a few months, maybe taking my time is good.

Also, I can't go to the gym. My knee still won't bend. This is a problem for kickboxing. Yes, of COURSE I'm still going skiing on Saturday!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Whistler = AWESOME

I have bruises everywhere, including a huge one on my calf that looks like a baseball (no idea where that one came from), matching bruises right above each knee (no idea about those either) and several flowering bruises on my rear. (I KNOW where those came from.)

Highlights:

I drank so much that I went into withdrawal on Sunday night at home and had to pour a quick Jameson.

The Olympics were ending. There was a Jumbotron set up on a stage in the Village Square that showed the Olympics 24-7. We stayed at the Fitzsimmons. Our windows looked directly out at the jumbotron. So did our hot tub.

I wrenched my knee on the first run of the first morning and skiied on it all weekend.

I went off jumps.

I got air on the jumps.

On a mogul run on the second day, I overextended my knee and popped it back into place! YAY!

I skiied so hard that going to the Terrain Park and doing jumps was easier than skiing any more. We cooled down at the terrain park.

The next morning, it hurt just to slice cheese.

It was so cold that it was a major topic of conversation--even for the locals and the lift operators.

The second day, we all came off the slopes and went directly to the Longhorn. We sat outside for hours in all our ski gear and drank while we watched the mountain empty out. The waitress hit on me. This made the 20 male engineers that were there very, very excited.

She never called me. Bitch.

As I walked to the condo, I was serenaded by Simple Plan, who was playing a free concert in front of the jumbotron.

I immediately ran up to the hottub. The hottub contained: a) my peeps, and b) Royal Canadian Mounties. I have no idea how they got there.

Simple Plan yelled up to us to ask if they could join us. We said of course they could, but...they never did. Bitches!

I re-wrenched my knee on the dance floor at Tommy Africa's.

Bob (or my Job, for those who don't read SheWalks) is sending me to FL tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. I return on Thursday evening, just in time for my day off on Friday.

I had to cancel two dates this week because of that.

I hope everyone's weekend was just as amazing!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Living Out Loud: My Faults

Hardware Engineer (aka High School Dropout) took me out on a first date to karaoke. He criticized my song choices, actually crumpled up one of my slips in front of me, and proceeded to tell me that women weren't very good at critical thinking. And I kept dating him.

My most recent ex-boyfriend told me once, when we were first dating, that I had a lot of vices. And then proceeded to list them. One of them was sex.

What kind of idiot tells the girl he's just started sleeping with that sex is one of her vices?

What kind of girl stays with him for another four months?

This girl, that's who.

Sometimes I can't believe the shit I still take from guys. But every day that goes by, every ski jump I take where I get MAD air, every time I refuse to count calories, every time I walk my dog, every time I work out so hard that I have bruises, every time I wake up stiff from running, every morning I wake up alone after a long night of clubbing, slightly hungover and perfectly content...

That is a good day.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Aaaannnnnnnddddd...she's OUT!

I'm OUT OF THE MONEY PIT! WOO-HOO!!!

Partly due to my bonus arriving today, but MAINLY due to my careful financing the last two weeks. Because even though I was very short on cash, I did several wonderful things that did NOT involve begging my mother for money.

Because when I get really short, and I've spent most of my money on hookers and blow, and therefore have no money for things like: gas, and then I get stuck at a gas station and my card keeps getting declined and I have to call my mother to come pick me up, and then she notices when she arrives that I haven't paid my tabs EITHER...

...well, that just adds insult to injury. And I mean that in the most literal way.

So, on to the wonderful things:

  • PAID BILLS FIRST. But carefully. Not so that my checks bounced, but I paid the most important ones, which avoids late charges and makes me happy.

  • BOUGHT GAS FIRST. Period, the end.

  • Did NOT rack up gigantic bills at clubs by pre-gaming at home first before going out to said clubs. (Note: if you overdo the drinking at home part, I think the DUI would completely obliterate any money you might save on Red Bull and Vodka at the club.)

  • Did NOT eat out. At all.

And I squeaked by, ladies and gentleman. It was close. But I did it. And it was a very good thing.

And now! On to paying all bills, buying plane tickets to Pittsburgh and Ghana, and, most importantly, more hookers and blow!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Single. Again.

Goodbye CAE, nice knowing you. (Question: will he still read The Blog?)

To all IIFs: Yes, it was mutual, and yes, we're still going to be friends. My friend ManWhore put it this way:

ManWhore: how'd that happen?
Aarwenn: eh. creative differences.
ManWhore: right, you were more post modern, and he was neo classical?
Aarwenn: very much so. nice summary.
ManWhore: thank you!

So!

Also, in reading back on earlier posts, I've realized something horrible: I'm no longer funny. How did this happen? How did I go from funny to unfunny? What happened to my commentors? Am I DOOMED?

Not if I can help it. Stay tuned for the funny.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pink Mohawks, Weddings, Choir, and Pot

This weekend included a wedding, a birthday party at Belltown Billiards, yuppie central, and then a going-away show at Bob's Java Jive in Tacoma. The link says it all.

At Belltown Billiards, we drank Red Bull/Vodkas and Jameson, at $8 a drink, and then we went to the Frontier Room. My biggest worry was: not maxing out my credit card, staying sober enough to drive home, and not running over any drunk yuppies on the way.

At Bob's Java Jive, I drank PBR, at $2 a pint. My biggest worry was not pissing off the girl with the twin two-foot pink mohawks because I didn't want to get punched in the face, personally guarding my keys so that no one could sneak off and smoke a bowl in my car, and remembering my tab. I didn't do any of these things, but I got lucky--the girl with the mohawks didn't punch me--mainly because I refused to get angry when she confronted me, but I still feel like I chickened out--and no one violated my car. My tab is still open. (Note to Pink-Mohawked Girl: you're a poser and a half. I'm sorry I didn't meet your gaze while you were yelling in my face and say, coolly, "Are you done? Because your breath stinks and you're spitting on me. Get out of my face.")

Sunday rolled around and after singing in the church choir, I did a bunch of chores and went to Sunday Night Dinner. (This is a fairly common activity in the area. No connection should be made between this SND and the last one.) This was a totally different bunch of people; we ate steak and potatoes instead of salmon and artichokes, we drank PBR instead of wine, we listened to Faith No More and the Dropkick Murphys instead of Beck, and they broke out the pipe in the middle of dinner. I had already seen enough pot in one weekend, but I stayed to finish my meal and be polite. This morning my coat is airing out. At home.

And this week: short! Very short! Leaving for Whistler on THURSDAY! Woo-hoo!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Women, Men, Power, and the Parent Trap

About men and women, and gender roles, and what to do if you're a woman but you like a woman, and who does what, and why am I becoming a man in this relationship? And what if you're a woman dating a man, but the gender roles are reversed? And what if you're a woman who likes a man but the man is perfectly happy working in a coffeehouse and you're, say, a high-flying engineer? About power, and how power is involved with sex. About how men and women express their power differently. About different kinds of power in a relationship--about how my friend Stephanie says, "Make me", versus me saying, "I'm going to make YOU make me"--but really, at the end, it's the same, because how can you make someone want to make you unless you're making them make you? How The Parent Trap Remake vs. The Original Parent Trap expresses this. About how women are LESS empowered now than we ever have been before. What we, as young women, can do about this.

And about work, and B-----, and unions, and the state of unions in America. And what makes a company good to work for? Why are we working for a company that did not make Forbes' Top 100 Companies To Work For? How can B----- employ 60,000 employees in the Puget Sound Region and NOT make the list of WASHINGTON'S Top 100 Companies To Work For? (For you statisticians out there, Washington is a hard state to crack--it's only behind California and Texas for hosting the highest number of Top 100 Companies, so in B-----'s defense, they have a challenge. But STILL.) What the hell are they missing that is so basic, and is there a connection between Dream and Reality if B----- didn't make such a generous list and is STILL the biggest employer in the region by far? Does such a list mean anything? What is the next labor revolution in America? Will Generation Y play a part?

And what about Generation Y? CertainlywWe are more self-aware than any other generation. This is both what makes us great--self-awareness promotes world awareness and clear-eyed, objective thinking, which could make us great social commentators--and what will do us in, as this level of self-awareness is fueled mainly by navel-gazing and the Blogosphere may rot our brains before any of us turn 30. Or 20.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Too Good To Keep To Myself

One of the many guys tasked with the onerous burden of entertaining me at work came up with this today:

"You're pure evil wrapped in a yummy candy shell."

So true.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Someone up there loves me!

Actually, screw that. Several wonderful people down HERE love me!

Explanation: as I've been talking about/dissecting/explaining/complaining about for several posts now, over Christmas I fell into a money pit.

And so when I got this tempting email about a second trip to Whistler, I was sorely tempted, but knew that it would be absoutely impossible. I was already too in debt to even buy gas or groceries and dodging calls from creditors, and part of the reason was that I was still in debt from my LAST trip to Whistler, so really it would be a postively idiotic thing to do, not to mention completely impossible without winning the lottery. (When you can't get any more money from your bank card because you're overdrawn, you can't get any more money. Amazing how that works.)

So, I turned it down. With many tears in my heart.

And THEN I looked at the calendar, and realized: "Aarwenn, you're an idiot. You'll get your bonus and your tax return in the next week!"

So I emailed Whistler Lead Guy back in a panic, and said, "Hey, I can make it after all, let me know if there's a spot!" I heard back: "Sorry, we're full." And I was sad, but I understood.

This morning I got an email from my Boyz with this subject line: "You're in!" Email: "Sorry, we exaggerated about being full with 14 because we wanted to make sure we had a couple spots for people we wanted to come, like you! Happy Valentine's Day!"

Me: "Oh my GOD! That's the best Valentine's Day Present EVER! You guys, I think I love you! And may all y'all's V-Days be happy from here on through the end of time."

Adorable Boy: "Oh trust me, Aarwenn, we love you, too. That's why you're going."

This makes getting up at 4:30 today entirely worth it, even after going to bed at 11 because I went to a show last night. And yes, I also walked my dog and went to the gym. Did I mention I also work 12 hours a day? But none of that matters now, because I'M GOING TO WHISTLER AGAIN! WOO!!!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Quark, quark, quark!

The above is both a reference to CAE, who thinks it's funny when I repeat words that I enjoy saying, like quark, and a reference to the second Quantum Physics post in a row, below. Also very long. And this time with guest speakers! Like Waiter and Quatoes!

I promise I'll be back to boys soon, and the impossibility of getting good/functional/not-super-heavy laptop cases, especially when you're barely 5'6" on a good day and are lugging around a gigantic laptop, and why I make my life more difficult, and how I'm slowly climbing out of my money pit, and especially with fun book recommendations.

But because my love life is a little messed up right now, and because CAE reads this blog (GODDAMN ME FOR EVER GIVING HIM THE GODDAMN ADDRESS), right now quantum physics is much easier to write about than love.

Hhhhhaaaadddd ttttooo mmmuuucccchhhh cccaaffeeeiinnneee

Really. Way too much. Am shaking like a leaf on a tree. Just had a big old sandwich and a milk. Not helping yet. Hoping I will calm down soon.

In the meantime, here is some thoughts on yesterday's post.

First, the wise and all-knowing Waiter had this to say:

"Very interesting. You are, however, looking at it from a classic Einsteinain point of view. If you bring quantum physics into the mix, where particles can exist and not exist at the same time, be in two places simultaneously, or change properties by the very act of your looking at it, things get crazy.

Regarding reincarnation, matter cannot be created or destroyed, it is constantly recycled, (We are all made of stardust ad nauseam) so every part of us came from some previous corporeal or energetic form. That happens in the steady flow of time. It is indisputable. You eat some chicken and that chicken becomes part of you. And, since matter and energy are the same (E=mc2) it follows that energies, souls, might travel from one corporeal from to the other. Maybe. Who knows?

Also, Einstein said we could travel forward in time, just not backwards. But some scientists think it possible with wormholes, black holes, etc."

And my reply:

"Hmmmm. I like the example of eating chicken, but that doesn't necessarily prove the flow of time. If time is recreated moment to moment, then there's no flow. Yes, the world that was condensed from the big bang started with a certain amount of matter that cannot be created or destroyed, but the idea of time as a point takes care of flow--time is really a series of points unconnected to each other, not a river. In one moment, a chicken is a chicken, in the next moment, it's a carcass, in the next moment, it's a part of me. That's not proof of flow, that's simply snapshots in time in which some matter changes form each time. Quantum physics proves this, actually, because quantum particles aren't sensitive to cause and effect. Therefore, the notion of cause and effect is really out-dated. The aforementioned snapshots in time don't have to go in order. Chicken could be a part of me one moment, still in the egg the next moment, and alive the moment after that. No flow needed. That, to me, is sort of a macro view of quantum physics--us looking at a chicken immediately changes the nature of matter. There's no sequence of events needed: just looking a chicken one moment means the next moment, it's in our stomachs, a part of us. The intervening sequence that we see, as three-dimensional beings, doesn't exist on the quantum level--it's an immediate change in the particles that happen to be forming a chicken at the moment simply because we observed them. Not because we immediately look at a live chicken and think, oh, I must eat that, but that some seminal human once looked at some seminal chicken, and because of that meeting all these moments in the life of a chicken--egg, alive, carcass, part of us--randomly float as quantum moments.

But still, there's really no cause and effect. I think of it as: everything that has happened, has ALREADY happened. We as humans need sequence, and so we live time sequentially through moments that effect each other, but that's not really what happened on the astral plane. Every thing that can happen and the coordinating particle state is waiting, floating, sort of dormant, for us to live through. I'm not being very clear, but I hope you can see what I'm getting at.

I don't think the fact that matter and energy are the same disagrees with this notion at all. Clearly, in quantum physics, matter and energy ARE the same. This is what allows quantum particles--points with no dimension, in time or space--to exist existentially, with no sequence or cause and effect. They are everywhere and nowhere at once, everytime and notime."

The always wise Quatoes pointed out in a comment:

"Though reincarnation... yeah our souls could be everywhen at once, but does that not mean your soul couldn't be doing multiple things at once? The lifetime of a soul compared to a physical body would have to be different, and walking 'linearly' in time for a soul, might just include more than one body couldn't it?"

And he's definitely right. Quantum particles aren't subject to cause and effect, nor are they bound by time or space. They can even be in two--or possibly an infinite number--of places at once! So "reincarnation", as we think of it sequentially, could certainly happen, with your soul occupying several bodies at once, in all different times.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Bus Thoughts, or in Honor of Bill Nye Getting Married!

Notes on discovering old photos. Note: This turned out to be really, really long. Get some coffee and toast! Third note: The title is a link to the Yahoo article. Sad that I can no longer marry Bill Nye. Sniff.

A twelve-year-old photograph that I took in San Francisco (Monterrey, technically) could have been taken yesterday; it is such a capturing of my current taste and aesthetic, not to mention the current fad for industrial chic and post-modern framing/composition that it seems new. In the early-to-mid nineties, when pretty-pretty bistros and fluffy hair reigned supreme, before post-modernism, when I was 13, what could have possibly driven me to take a picture of the side of a building?

The only explanation is: at that time, twelve years ago, the woman that I would become showed in my mind for a brief second, dropped in just like a time traveler from the future, saw the photograph opportunity, and directed my eyes and hands, having in her own mind TODAY'S aesthetic of chic and seeing the industrial beauty in the composition.

Now, would this theory point or not point to the idea of time happening all at once?

If time happens all at once, when did the woman I am have time, so to speak, to dip into a young girl's head and control her eye, even if (or ESPECIALLY if) that young girl was really that woman, only twelve years before? If time happens vertically, all at once, then it must have been in a dream, because I don't remember an out-of-body experience.

Really long discussion: this idea of vertical time is the current theory as to why time travel is impossible. You can't travel back to a certain place in time because technically time happens all at once, in one moment; the Crusades are being fought at the same time that I am typing this. You are fixed in time because you can only exist in one plane (or really, 4-D integral) at once. In English: Time is a dimension like length, height, or depth. In the same way that you can't exist in more than one place at a time, you can't exist in more than one time at a time. (Ha!)

Now, technically, in the same way that you can move from place to place, you should be able to move from time period to time period, but it doesn't happen that way because Time is EVERYWHERE, all at once. It's the same as the concept of a point: technically, it has no dimensions, so it's both everywhere and nowhere. If you could condense physical dimensions into a point, and you could survive, you'd be everywhere and nowhere. There'd be no place to go because you would already BE everywhere you could be. In the same way, Time is ALWAYS a point--every new moment, which can be broken down into infintestimal moments, which are points--they are both all times and no times. Put another way, time doesn't really exist. You already are in all the time periods you'll ever be in--all time periods at once. You can't travel to another one--there's no time to go to!

Does that make sense?

So, is reincarnation bunk? In my opinion, yes, because it's not as if past versions of you exist--time doesn't work like that. Your soul, your consciousness, is ALREADY everytime. (Like everywhere, only everytime.) Again: if all space was a point, you couldn't travel from place to place because there would be nowhere to go, and since time really is a point, (at least for now--see the next paragraph for more explanation) your soul CAN'T TRAVEL FROM ONE TIME TO ANOTHER, EVEN FORWARDS IN THE FORM OF REINCARNATION, BECAUSE THERE ARE NO OTHER TIMES. (For music lovers: instead of a conductor conducting in 4/4 time, as in 1, 2, 3, 4, think of it as Now, Now, Now, Now, Now, Now, etc, on into infinity. Time is an infinite series of Nows.)

So: Why are time and space different? Why is space spread out and time not spread out--as in, why is time always a point with no actual dimensions and space is spread out into three dimensions, allowing us to physically move from place to place? For you non-fundamentalists, space WAS like time before the big bang. That's the concept of the big bang--that we came from nothing, and everything. Life is condensed from the point that it was--we used to be everywhere and nowhere at once, and now we are tied, physically, to one spot--at least in the three dimensions that we can see. Remember how I said that if you could condense space into a point, and you could survive? That'd be the big bang backwards--and you'd lose your body, but keep your soul. Souls don't have physical dimensions and can exist in a point.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

For anyone who ever heard of the Bible, yes, there are some very strong parallels here between this concept--life condensing from being omnipresent--and The Fall from The Garden of Eden. Instead of being supernatural beings that could be everywhere--walking with God on the astral plane, you might say, not tied to any sort of dimension whatsoever but instead a random flow of dots streaming through the universe, or more like members of a hive mind, in which the Mind is God--we Fell from the astral plane and are now tied to one spot. God created the world--in three dimensions--so that we might have solid ground to stand upon, because we had become solid, tied physically to the universe. The Bible paints this picture backwards--that God created the world first, with us in it, and THEN we fell. Who knows why? But the myth of a garden of good and evil and humanity purposely choosing knowledge over security goes back thousands and thousands of years in mythology--way before the Bible was written. The old Levites who wrote it had to use parallels that their audience would understand.

Almost done, I promise!

One more thought: so, if time exists everywhere, all at once, how can the woman I am today have stepped "back" in time? Obviously, she couldn't have. But remember, time is a POINT, not dimensional. Our brains are NOT tied to time. (Well, our brains are physical, so they are, but our souls aren't--no dimensions, remember?) Our souls are already everytime at once. This is the difference, The Big Hole, The Big Separation, between our physical bodies and our souls. We as collective beings know that we used to be astral, and now we're physical. It's this separation that drives people to drink, find religion, go crazy and murder children, sadistically torture others, etc. It's a way to block the Huge Gaping Hole between the freedom our souls could have and the physical prison in which our bodies are trapped. Religious people refer to this as the God-shaped vacuum.

The soul part of yourself is really omnipresent and omniscient; it exists at all time AND places. Because it is tied to your physical body--in a way that I still don't understand--it can't leave at will. It wants to, but it can't. But occasionally--once in a great while, when the stars are aligned--it steps forward from your sub-conscious to your conscious, recognizes true beauty, and overrides your physical leaning, and makes you take a photograph that will stand through the ages.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Superbowl Review!

Pre Game show of Stevie Wonder and Friends: "God, John Legend is so ridiculously hot. Apparently the sound guy thinks so, too, because he's the only vocalist I can hear. Which is a real shame since Stevie Wonder and Joss Stone are just as incredible. Oooh, love the fact that the other vocalists end the show in some prearranged pose and John Legend just steps in front of all of them to take a bow. Nice."

Pre-Game special on Bill Cowher: "Hey, the Monongahela! Hey, the Smithfield St. Bridge!" CAE: "The what?"

National Anthem: "Fucking sound guy. I can barely even hear Aretha. And she's hard to tone down."

Me, mid game, talking to Joey Porter like he can hear me: "The tackle is over! GET THE FUCK OFF OF HIM!" CAE, laughing: "It's so cute when you swear. You're, what, five-foot-nothing? What the hell are you going to do to Joey Porter?"

Halftime Show: "Hey, at least I can hear Mick Jagger--who totally still has IT, wow. The other guys are almost comatose up there, but Mick is workin' it. Go Mick!"

More halftime show: CAE and I get into a long discussion about why we've had two ENGLISH acts, of all things, two years in a row. English OLD guys. And this year the Superbowl is in MOTOWN, of all places! We agree that some other act should have been pregame and that Stevie Wonder should have had the Halftime Show, with maybe Mariah Carey and Aretha. They could have dominated the stage.

So sad I missed Macguyver. I was trying to convince The Boy's computer to let me check my gmail and missed part of the game and that particular commercial.

LOVED FedEx. Hated any mention of Pizza Hut after seeing Jessica Simpson once. CAE gets a lot of points for also hating on Jessica Simpson. Hate the fact that we got pizza anyway, after seeing commercials for it five thousand times. (Full disclosure: We got DOMINO's, not Pizza Hut.) Goddamn commercials.

Oooooh, the Washington State Credit League commercial! I love commercials!

Didn't see the Washington State Credit League commercial? The commercial with two guys rapping, one black guy and one scrawny red-headed white guy with huge bling, obviously dressed to be a poser?
Here's a link.


One of the guys in that commercial, somewhere, is Adrian Ryan, who pens "Celebrity I Saw U" for The Stranger, Seattle's infamous independent newspaper. Most recent column.

Stay with me, it's important! Here's Adrian's coverage of the commercial. (coming soon, but here's the link)

The question is: WTF? Where does the persona that appears in the column appear in the commercial? Can it be the scrawny, cute, red-headed white guy? Can anyone be that schizo? Is it one of the actors shouting: Action! ? Will my world ever be the same?

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Time Bubble

It is amazing to think that, after all the craziness that happened this weekend, that neither my gmail account nor my blog reflects that. It is amazing to realize that, because the craziness was completely incestuous, that my blog has not somehow updated itself, picking up the collective consciousness of Tacoma, merged the facts from the collective consciousness with my writing style, and written a new entry on its own. It is amazing to think that I can change my mind that many times in one weekend. It is amazing to think that my friends have so much patience with me. It is amazing how much I love my friends, and how much I love men. Truly amazing.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Also...

Dewey, can we form a support group? Name of the support group: Trips To Africa Are Fucking Expensive!

British Airway's quote for Ghana: 1,983.68.

STA's quote for Ghana: 2,138.95.

My quote: HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF GOD.